Time to call it quits By Cooky - 14/03/2010 09:09 - United Kingdom Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML I agree, your life sucks 40 439 You deserved it 6 734 Share Tweet Share
Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 786 You deserved it 148
Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 087 You deserved it 160
Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 998 You deserved it 354
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 78 You deserved it 930
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year-old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year-old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML I agree, your life sucks 28 217 You deserved it 13 818
Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 226 You deserved it 5 158
Today, our boss offered use of the restaurant for free for my 50th. It went well but afterward he asked us to clean up, then started pulling all the deep-cleaning equipment out of storage, saying, “Might as well while you’re all here.” The cleaning took longer than the party. Bastard. FML I agree, your life sucks 592 You deserved it 104
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 997 You deserved it 4 610