Relatable

No third chance

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 04:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I’m going to a audition and my partner is scared that I’ll never come back, and is not supportive of me. Seriously, why did he come back just so he could be so depressed and then not support me at all? FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 229

Crisis

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 18:02 - Canada - St. Catharines

Today, I called the crisis helpline, and because my connection was cutting in and out for a moment, they hung up on me. When I called back, it was shift change, so they hung up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 140

Reflex

By Lance - 08/07/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, I realised that I have been a teacher for far too long when I told a random stranger I saw at the mall to tie up their shoelaces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 227

A tale as old as time

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 09:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I realized ruined I'd my life forever when i broke up with the girl of my dreams by being stupid 11 years ago and I'm still missing her. I haven't been able to move on ever since, and she is now married and has a kid. Don't ever take anyone for granted, I know I deserve this but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 1 124

Hairstyle lifehack

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 12:00 - United States - Albany

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 371

Baby fever

By mala_19 - 06/07/2023 18:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I've eaten two pieces of fruit, three crackers, and 3.5 glasses of juice. I've also vomited 3 times and peed myself once. Can someone please tell me why I thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant again? FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 654

Obstacles

By Anonymous - 06/07/2023 12:00 - Slovakia - Bratislava

Today, I'm halfway through of packing my stuff as we are moving to another flat. I discovered that I got chickenpox, which means that I should do no hard physical work. I've got a fever and a headache. It started raining in the morning, so loading stuff to truck is going to be so much fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 127

Lizard queen

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 06:00

Today, someone tried to guess my age. They guessed 45, then 39. I'm 35 and just spent $20,000 on plastic surgery to make myself look more youthful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 773

My house, your rules

By stepmom to be - 03/07/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé's kids say they never want to come back to our house because I’m “mean” and have "too many rules." Rules such as brushing teeth twice a day, flushing the toilet after every use, no food allowed in the bedrooms, and no sleeping in until 2pm. Guess that makes me unreasonable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 196

The great pretender

By theraarman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has to pretend to have another boyfriend who isn't me, because her siblings and cousins don't like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 114

You deserved it 3 220

Obsessed and possessed

By ugh just make it stop - 01/07/2023 18:00

Today, after weeks of my yelling, my boyfriend finally listened and got a hobby. Instead of getting into something sensible like martial arts, he chose tabletop gaming. Now I have to listen to hours of boring stories about pretend fantasy worlds, and admit to everyone that my boyfriend is a nerd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 930

Controlling

By Anonymous - 01/07/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, even though I was very clear before I went on holiday that I was going completely zero contact to de-stress, my mother rang at least twice a day. When I stopped answering the phone, she found the direct number of the local police station in a foreign country and sent them to find me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 109

Nervous Nelly

By Nervous wreck - 30/06/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, my social anxiety is so bad that the mere thought of talking to anyone, even someone who isn't even real, makes me feel ill and uneasy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 187

What the actual…?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2023 22:00

Today, my friend bit me. The first time I said "Ow!" and pushed her away. The third time really hurt, and I got mad and said, "Don't fucking bite me!" and walked away angrily. She chased after me and told me I couldn't be mad at her, then got mad when I wouldn't talk to her. She didn't say sorry once and it started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 123

Playa

By Loner - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Paramus

Today, my buddy congratulated me on getting a girl's phone number written on my arm. I was too embarrassed to tell him it was the number I needed to find my furniture at IKEA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 385

You deserved it 626

Too awkward to function

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 23:00 - United States - Stillwater

Today, my sister told me she doesn't think her mom died the way she was told. Uncomfortable, I declined to give my 2 cents on the matter, saying, "I'm sorry" and, "Oh sh!t, sorry." She started gaslighting me about how I wasn't listening, and I told her I was sorry for being a piece of shit, so she then gaslit me about that too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 694

Time to retire

By Should Have Gotten It In Writing - 27/06/2023 06:00 - United States - Morgan Hill

Today, my boss accused me of pursuing a project without his permission that he "wouldn't have approved." I DID get his permission, but he has early Alzheimer's and doesn't remember. He gets upset when anyone suggests that he's misremembering, so all I could do was apologize for not doing something I definitely did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 111

White lie

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 06:00 - Sweden - Varberg

Today, I went to prom with my two friends. I was ditched by my prom date because he had “other plans.” The weird thing is that when we got to the prom location, I saw him with another date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 92

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 248

Monday Monday, so good to me…

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, my 73 year-old coworker has made a mountain of work for me to plough through due to her incompetence. I had to work through over 400 emails, since she thought unplugging the router would help, and in doing so, I have picked up on hundreds of mistakes she has made with clients, and had to apologise to each one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 122

Hope that's in Fahrenheit

By Cooked alive - 25/06/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, for the first time in at least two years, the temperature exceeded 100 degrees in my area. Except this time, it nearly hit 110. Even with my fan and air conditioner on the highest setting, my room was still burning hot. It's currently 11pm and the temperature has gone down… to 81 degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 149

Time to tap out

By Staying single - 25/06/2023 13:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my girlfriend asked why we weren't married yet. I guess I don't find her alcoholism, lack of income, constant insults, references to cheating, and general entitlement behaviour very wifey material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 146

Technology hate humans

By Helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp - 25/06/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I have a keyboard that randomly jams. If it happens while I'm typing, it will spam said letter for an extended period of time, and nothing I can do makes it stop. It can happen to any key, even the spacebar. It also happens often enough that it goes from mildly convenient to really fucking annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 320

Thanks for nothing

By BrittanyP - 25/06/2023 12:00

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 273

Dominance

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 00:02

Today, I have accepted that if I try to spend time with my girlfriend, she will come up with any excuse to avoid me, but when I want to do something by myself, she will be at my elbow every ten seconds, loudly whining that she wants to spend time together and that I'm mean. Talking has yet to fix anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 211

America, **** yeah!

By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 10:00

Today, I realized it became my duty as an American to check in on nearby friends and family every time another mass shooting happens. My government refuses to do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 369

Move your ass

By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 06:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend sits in an empty apartment, complaining about it being a rat hole. HE picked the place, HE refuses my help to decorate, as well as my offer to get his stuff from the old place, and yes, he could totally afford something better. But sure, his life is shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 186

East side story

By Anonymous - 23/06/2023 03:32 - India - Prayagraj

Today, I found out that the girl I love loves me back. The two of us are madly in love with each other but we can't do anything about it because our religions and our castes are different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 331

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 15:00

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 2 660

That's not a real thing

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom - Flitwick

Today, after talking to a girl for a little over a month, and both of us saying we liked each other and FaceTiming each other for multiple hours each day, she told me I’m “too easy to talk to” and friendzoned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 141

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 122

Today, I'm finally dating the girl I've been fawning over for years. So what do I do? I accidentally called her by her sister's name during a conversation, which might seem like a small mistake, except I used to sleep with her sister, and she's been having a hard time getting over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 3 685

The Top

Today, it's been three days since I told this guy I liked him and he told me he liked me. It's also been three days since he contacted me. So, I called his phone and I was told by someone that they were attributed that number three days ago. I think it's safe to say the feelings weren't mutual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 824

You deserved it 794

Today, I noticed that my two cats have been urinating on my Christmas tree skirt more frequently than in their litter box. I've tried to get them to stop, but I don't know how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 101

You deserved it 1 072

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 2 477

Today, my pill-popping mom, committing disability fraud and stealing from me, called the cops on me, and dragged the landlord into it, is now getting both of us evicted. All this because she'd rather live homeless with her drug problem than to get the help she needs, which I can't provide anymore after 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 112

Today, I found out my fiancé cheated on me with my sister, because she got pregnant and dropped out of school. I don't know whose betrayal is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 145

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 220

You deserved it 3 345