Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 02/02/2021 13:14

Today, my high school senior year ended. The academic year of 2020-21 ended. I went through the entire year in online mode without attending a single physical class. No graduation, no prom, no sports day, no fests, none. The teaching was also bad due to online. Not the way I wanted my 12th grade to be like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 9

By James - 01/02/2021 16:12 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I a buddy started showing me some videos of girls he follows on onlyfans. One of the them was of a girl being creampied by the biggest dick I've ever seen. I've been seeing this girl for 3 months and we made it official last week. The video was posted this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 18:05 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today I was happy my mom wanted to help me cook by cleaning root vegetables. Until I discovered that our definitions of “clean” were quite different: For her it means “having been scrubbed some”. For me it means “actually being free of sand”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 29/01/2021 22:49 - Georgia

Today is twenty-nine day that me and my boyfriend have not seen each other, because here is fucking lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 29/01/2021 01:18

Today, I told my friend (who I have a "friends marriage pact" at 30 with) that I have developed feelings for her only to have her say even though there "may" be feelings between us we can't act on it because of distance. Thing is I would have actually uprooted for her, but I guess I'm only good as last resort...FML!

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 13

By Logy - 28/01/2021 23:39

Today, after 23 years, I found out that my parents have been hiding my real birth date from me, I’m born on 7 Dec. not 1 Jan. My boyfriend hates sagittarius and now doesn’t want to celebrate my birthday or remember it ever again...

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 27/01/2021 19:32 - Germany - Hanover

Today, i told my partner, with whom i have been with for decades, that i don't want to move into the house we bought and which he is renovating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 27/01/2021 18:30 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my friend said that they wanted to change their name to SCP-035. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 26/01/2021 09:59

Today...I caught my girlfriend snorting meth using her baby to try to block my view. She said I made her uncomfortable and that we are done. Called a close friend and said we needed to talk. He replied "I'm sorry bro, she was drunk and I didnt know you were talking like that."...FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 4

By Theo - 25/01/2021 23:39 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today me and my girlfriend were kissing and I started groping her butt, got my fingers in the top of her crack and it was slippy as hell in there. Pulled my hand back my fingers were COATED in poo like she hadn’t made any attempt to wipe at all in at least a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 25/01/2021 15:19 - Germany - Olbersdorf

Today it’s one of the coldest days of this winter. In order to keep warm outside, I actually need less clothing than I need to stay warm inside the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 09:32

Today, My boyfriend says I should forget about the girls he cheated on me with because they were nothing to him. He cheated on me with over 5 chicks.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 00:48

Today, my dad kicked me out of the house for smoking weed now I have to live outside I’m 22 FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 95

By "Amanda G Rich" - 23/01/2021 18:05

Today, due to an unknown illness that makes me super nauseous and dizzy, I've seen 10 specialists. None of which know what's wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 13:45

Today, my teacher was screwing us on projects. Mine was the best and she showed it to others. We're all from different schools and she used to teach in my old school. She said mine was good because of my old school's way. No, it's because I'm pedantic and others didn't put much effort. She just robbed me of credit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 01:31

Today, I went to Dennys for dinner, and after I finished drinking my first glass of lemonade, I asked for another. My mom decided to body shame me in front of everyone in public and everyone, including the elderly was staring at me while my mom lectured me. Some people were snickering, and some were filming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 00:53

Today, makes a year since my mom mentioned to me that she and my dad prayed for a still born baby over a gay one. At the time of her telling me this it caused my first ever panic attack. Thinking i was having a heart attack, i called my boyfriend over ,over, and over. I have been ignored since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 20:11 - Germany - Olbersdorf

Today I kicked our cat. And realized, the thing about cats is: They have no concept of the fact that humans cannot see them in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 45

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 21:05

Today, I moved away for college and every time I go home I make sure to see my best friend (of 10 years). Long story short he curved all my texts and calls one time over the holidays because he was depressed over a girl. A year later he still refuses to talk to me or acknowledge the that we were ever even friends.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 01:31 - Australia

Today, I spite slept with my sister’s husband, He told me he would leave her for me, but he lied. I'm going to confess the whole thing at their anniversary party before I hand him the confirmed pregnancy test and the invoice for the abortion. There's your souvenir. Bitch.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 68

By Soj254 - 17/01/2021 21:00

Today my wife who I have been with for 13 year told me that it’s over and from the start we were never going to work at all...now I’m cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 23:10 - India - Bangalore

Today, I started wishing that my parents divorced. In my 18 years, I've seen my parents fight more than seeing them happy. It has had such a huge impact on me that I did not function as a normal person and they have taught me by their actions more of what not to do in life, rather than what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 14:11

Today, I tried to return to university after I deferred several years ago due to poor health. Despite having withdrawn without penalty, and not completed any units with them, they told me my GPA was too low to allow me in. Their suggestion? Complete two or three units to raise it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 10:46 - Germany - Emden

Today my therapist tells me to keep a list of things I am thankful for. The only thing I can come up with, that I am genuinely thankful for, is the fact that my life hasn’t turned out even worse. Because things can always be worse, I know this from experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 11

By Sarah - 15/01/2021 16:45

Today, I checked how many condoms we had left in case I needed to grab more at the store. It was a 12 pack, and we had 2 left. I bought the first box over 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 14:24 - Germany - Emden

Today my mom doesn’t think it necessary to change her bed sheets, even though there is period blood on them. It’s not even her blood, either. It’s our dog’s. Hence the dog hair, dirt and sand that is also on the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 21:30 - United States - Rochester

Today, I arranged for the President to give a speech in Alamo, Texas. His advance crew instead notified The Alamo in San Antonio, Texas to set up the event. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 19:50

Today I publicly removed all bad republicans from my life and also came out as non binary and bi, and my mom removed me from her life without a single word to me. I halfway expected this but, it still hurts after we were trying to start fresh. My mom chose bigotry and homophobia over her child. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 36

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 08:44 - United States

Today, Last night, the hubs was all about teasing me and getting me all worked up, promising to deliver the D once we got home. We get home and I’m ready. And he decided he was tired and went right to sleep? It’s been about a month since I’ve gotten ANY action FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 10/01/2021 15:50 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today I was having sex with my new boyfriend he made me cum so hard I pooped a little... he texted me about it after I got home. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 7

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The Top

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 998

You deserved it 8 644

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 703

You deserved it 52 041

The Top

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 880

You deserved it 33 571

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 342

You deserved it 4 418

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 339

You deserved it 3 313

Today, my son has failed all his exams, no university will take him, he keeps getting fired from part time jobs for incompetence, and generally makes goldfish look smart in comparison. His mother refuses to admit she should have quit drinking while she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 261

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 045

You deserved it 5 500

Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 263

You deserved it 363