Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 20/12/2020 04:37

Today, Like every day, my husband got blackout drunk and took sleeping pills. He won’t remember that he vomited everywhere and I had to clean him and it up. He vomits 3-4 nights every week from this and is mean on top of it.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 23:05 - Canada - Carleton Place

Today, my fiance of three years told me his work is more important than me and our two kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 10

By TitsMaGee - 18/12/2020 19:34 - United States - Irwin

Today, at work I was sexting with my boyfriend and sent a topless photo to my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 166

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 15:22 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today I live healthy, don’t smoke or drink wine, yet the black discolorations on my teeth keep coming back so quickly that it’s either paying 70 bucks for having my teeth cleaned every couple of months or buying my own dentist’s equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 18/12/2020 08:34 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today one of my electric fences disappeared without a trace, including metal fence posts, and isolators I had screwed into the trees. When I told a neighbor, their reply was: “I hear stories of wolves around here lately. Must have been them.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 21:44 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today i finished the course of medical treatments the at-fault party paid for, after the car incident. I am finally starting to feel better, and they have refused to pay for any more. And I cannot afford it myself . Fml

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 20:52

Today, my older sister is in a new relationship with a guy. She keeps asking me very detailed sex questions. She was with a woman before and now wants to know all about the D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 19:34 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today I took the dogs for a walk. Well, one actually. The other one, though very enthusiastic about the walk, simply turned in the wrong direction, was too stupid to look around or come find us, too deaf to hear my calls, and so ended up going back home after 20 meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:55 - United States - Hesperia

Today in order to get me back for cheating on her my ex sold my dog. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 148

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 04:58 - Syrian Arab Republic

Today, i still live in syria :) and everyone closed border to us... stuck forever in this hell... FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 13:41 - Australia - Sydney

Today, only 2 weeks into my new job, I hit another car in a company vehicle... I only got this job after getting made redundant from COVID and looks like ill have to be looking for another one again real soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 08:44 - United States - Dallas

Today, I have a major assessment. Last night, I went to bed extremely early to ensure that I got a good night's sleep. I was then unable to sleep until 2am, and then I got woken up three times by three different AMBER alerts (two around 4am and one at 4:30am). I could not go back to sleep.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 14:09

Today I had sex with a girl and we didn’t use protection. Eventually I made the mistake of telling her I was gonna cum, and she wouldn’t get off me. She kept riding me while saying “I WANT YOUR BABY.” It ended up cumming all inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 77

By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 10:07 - United States - Woodland

Today, I am trans but I can’t come out to my family because they are too transphobic and somehow they found out and I’m pretty sure I’m screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 38

By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 04:15 - United States

Today I am severely depressed and started cutting myself again. I called over 3 dozen psychiatrists & therapists trying to find help & can’t even get anyone to call me back. Realistically, I know it might be a couple years, if not longer, before I can find someone available to take me as a patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 03:04

Today, my boyfriend canceled our first date, for the fourth time. It's also the third day in a row. Then, when I was upset about it and myself, instead of helping and talking about it like I do for him, he took a nap. But hey, he still had time to meet with a friend instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 21:32

Today the man I love is on a “retreat” at a unnamed location and that I’m never going to make this man want to be with me. So I choose me from now on and he’s no longer my everything took ten years to realize it.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 14:11 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I RV full time and my heat pump just went out and the dealership can’t schedule an appointment to fix it for another 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 11:36

Today, Im cheating on my boyfriend of 3 years because our work schedules are so different we cant have sex. The guy Im cheating with...well our work schedules are so different we cant have sex...... Ugh......FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 162

By Sally - 12/12/2020 08:22 - United Kingdom

Today I was called a useless uneducated troll by a customer at work because I couldn’t identify the 5 dog breeds that made up the customers emotional support dog. The customer was my mom and she made me cry in front of other customers, my boss and coworkers FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 7

By "Amanda Howard " - 12/12/2020 08:43

Today, I got drunk and stupidly admit to my boyfriend that I think his penis is small and I faked all my orgasms. He hasn't spoken to me in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 87

By Danielle - 11/12/2020 13:20 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I realized the reason the guy I like, and very into, hasn't responded to my message is because my phone will say my messages are delivered when really it hasn't. We are both the type to not double text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 04:18

Today I took a home pregnancy test, and it was positive. Only problem is, I had sex with my ex husband and the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend 3day ago, both in the same week. Now I don't know who the father is.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 16:09 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized 2020 is never going to end. Did Bill Murray star in this year? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 11:05 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today my wife, on her public Instagram story, said I'm a deadbeat husband who never supports her. I over the last two weeks I've bought her a brand new smartphone and over $500 of new clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 11:31 - Slovakia - Nova Ves Nad Zitavou

Today, i had one of my most important exams of school i studied hard and knew most of the answers.I had to answer by talking instead of test because i had a headache at that day. I failed the test because my friend got all the questions i knew and i got all the questions i didn't know. I got an F FML

I agree, your life sucks 31

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 09/12/2020 21:16 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my husband let my blind, deaf emotional support dog out to pee. She is 14. She wandered off because he forgot her. He also told me his chemo brain is turning worse- think Alzheimer's. We have a 3 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 08/12/2020 20:10 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today my wicked step mother banned me and my brother from seeing my dad in the hospital. He is dying of stage 4 cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 22:01

Today, I Had to wait 20 hour because of windows 10 updates... yeah FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 11

By "MsGamerLady" - 07/12/2020 00:21 - United States

Today, my dog passed away. This happened because my FIL ran him over. He died right in front of me and my FIL still hasn't even said he's sorry. My dog's 1st birthday is in 2 weeks and instead of celebrating I'm going to be getting my other dog used to not seeing his little brother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 5

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 242

Today, I looked at my boyfriend of four years's phone. He may not be cheating, but he was trying, and got shot down five times by three different women. Pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 103

The Top

Today, my mom got a new furnace put in because they found out the old one was leaking carbon monoxide. This is six months after I got kicked out because I was sleeping too much, so my mom thought I was using drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 91

Today, I was watching TV when my older brother thought it would be funny to rip a bare-assed fart in my face before a shower. I looked up, only to see a brown blob on my glasses. My nickname is now "Shitfaced." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 937

You deserved it 126

Today, I almost died after getting an epidural in my neck. The medicine paralyzed my entire body, including my diaphragm and lungs. The doctor tried to say it was a panic attack. I had turned blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 165

You deserved it 242

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say, "Will you marry me?" a bird shat on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 020

You deserved it 7 568

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 635

You deserved it 8 142

Today, I'm still reeling from Xmas, as we got a tornado, power was out, and we got a heatwave warning with temperatures up to 37°C. Our power was off for 5 days. When it was restored, we got a flood warning, 150ml of rain, and no sign of it stopping anytime soon. Welcome to Christmas in Queensland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 108