Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 02/09/2020 08:03

Today my boss of 5 yrs emailed a new employee. She introduced me and then she said that I would be in the office to take her picture and that the picture I take will work until she can get a professional photographer to take her picture. I consider myself a professional photographer. - FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 02/09/2020 02:13 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, Tonight my mom slapped me in the face saying I'm a self-absorbed bitch.But I took care of my baby brother 5 months straight during quarantine in and after class. Taught him the new stuff and do this homework. while she only cooks for lunch which is also dinner and uses her phone all day FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 01/09/2020 08:25 - United States - Burlington

Today, I was halfway through the first day of school via a zoom meeting, and the teacher says that I wasn't even supposed to be there because A-L was supposed to meet Today. She asked did you even read the directions in front of everyone. I had made a fool of myself on the first day of school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 31/08/2020 18:42 - Poland - Radlin

Today, I work with young men who are into memes. My workplace uses IDs that are generated from our names. My surname is Sim, my signature is Simp1 and I hear awful porn jokes about it all day. I'm prude and they are disgusting - I asked them to stop but they wouldn't -I'm getting trolled... praying this meme dies. ASAP. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 24

By KelseNM - 30/08/2020 04:39

Today, I’m 6 months pregnant and still dealing with morning sickness. I’m on 3 different meds and still continue to vomit almost everything I eat. I’m continuously losing weight and nothing seems to help. Digesting food hurts, vomiting food hurts, and even water makes me sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 13:51

Today, my crush messaged me on snapchat and Instagram telling me she wants to meet up with me in my city. So when she arrived I got out to get her but she wasn't there. Turns out it was my best friend, his girlfriend and her making fun of me FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 25/08/2020 23:27 - Netherlands

Today I was having a good conversation on Whatsapp with a girl I like, she was replying fast and everything seemed okay, then when I asked if she wants to have some drinks this thursday she stopped replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 19

By "Oliver Beck" - 21/08/2020 21:05

Today my "friend" couldn't even look at me and later when I confronted her, she said she doesn't want contact anymore. Nothing bad happened between us before. According to her I annoy her. I just asked if she's going back to school and if she's doing ok. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 19:53

Today, My "best friend" informed me she's been dating my ex for over a year and that they've both been lying and sneaking around behind my back.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 8

By SweptWolf - 19/08/2020 20:36

Today my boss decided to call me completely useless because I did something the way we usually do it rather than how he just decided he wanted it done, without telling anyone... FML...

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 17/08/2020 18:10

Today the radiator in my car crapped out. Today is also the last day on vacation 7hrs from home with 3 kids. Our money is spent due to the vacation and the repair costs about $800.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 18

By Welcome_Eggs_Benedict - 16/08/2020 20:32

Today, after months of trying to get a job at my favorite auto parts store as a mechanic, i finally got accepted. I sent my boss an email asking when i should take the truck out. My computer decided i meant the f word. I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 29

By Sady_Ct - 15/08/2020 23:51

Today I’m exhausted. My neighbors fucking mongrels didn’t stfu for 3 hours last night between 1am-4am, this happens most days. I have spoken to them multiple times, most of the neighbours have, and they ignore us. Council complaints do nothing because she has family in the council. I need sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:26

Today I foolishly allowed my crush to seduce me at work. I gave her oral sex until she orgasmed then started taking my own pants off for sex or at least a blowjob. Nope, she fixed her skirt and said Thanks I really needed that, then left me there with a wet face, a raging boner and blue balls FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 104

By "anomynous" - 13/08/2020 20:16

Today, my brother left his skateboard propped up in the hallway because he refuses to keep it in his room. While cleaning, I tripped over it and the wheel landed on my foot. Not even 5 minutes later, the resulting bruise was already nearly black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 08:24

Today, I’m almost 23 and never had sex and I’m too awkward around people to ever even get to that stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 08/08/2020 17:28

Today, I have trouble sleeping because of the banging noises in the room below. Also someone tends to lock the front door when I’m gone. Just roommates, right? Except that the room below is an empty basement and the only person living here with me is my granny, who cannot leave her bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 13

By Shelbie - 08/08/2020 07:09

Today my boyfriend got into a motorcycle crash and went to the ER. Then he told me he cheated on me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 4

By nia - 07/08/2020 19:58

Today, I discovered that every time I go to the bathroom to poop, without fail, my entire family decides to watch TV. Right outside my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 05/08/2020 01:10

Today I realize I have given myself 7 years of torture by trying to get my man to talk to me about our relationship and our respective needs, when his only passion is the next car he’ll buy and his only needs seem to be food, TV, and not being bothered. I think he actually wants to be dead inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 25

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 10:21

Today my dad realizes that “all his women” - me, my mother and his second wife – suffer because of him. He proceeds to pity himself for this heavy burden. He does not get the idea that maybe this might mean he needs to change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 09:57

Today my dad is mad because I don’t want to go on a bike tour with him. I try to explain that I didn’t mean to reject him and that I can feel how upset he is about it. He gives me a scornful look and replies: “Your feelings are wrong, then.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 04:27

Today, I realized that the one thing my mom really did teach me is that a parents love can dwindle. My mom and I used to be close but over the last four-five years since she's been with her current bf she started to change, now she won't even talk to me. I didn't do anything wrong.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 30/07/2020 07:19

Today, I was in online class, my mum sent me a happy friendship day post. She knew that I didn't have many friends. I was happy but asked her why as she isn't my friend, even though that she is closer than my friends. Her reply was that she was testing whether the picture she posted would appear as an image or as a link.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 30/07/2020 02:55

Today, I learned that the girl of my dreams can be with me because her father doesn't want her to be with a black guy. I've never met anyone else who made me nearly as happy as she does but for reasons out of my control we can't be together. We even had a heart to heart days before that now just seems to amplify the pain.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 17

By Jason McGinnis - 29/07/2020 21:39

Today is the second day at work that all my computer files are missing. But this time its different. The IT instructions I received yesterday to move my files was very very wrong and last night all my work was erased, then the automatic backup file was saved over.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 01:17

Today me and my long distance boyfriend had our 1st fight. Because he pays attention to everyone but me. His response was im sorry I love you. Then disappeared all night and next morning said long distance is too hard and we're better off apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 10

By AloneAtPerkins - 28/07/2020 01:15

Today, after about 14 years of not being able to figure out what causes my seizures, I find out going for drinks and getting a buzz causes not ONE seizure, but a week of 5+ seizures a day. I just got my license too. Guess I won't be going for drinks with the guys anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 23

By "Amanda Howard " - 27/07/2020 04:31

Today, I found I have something called aquagenic urticaria, meaning I'm allergic to water. The doctor said no water can touch my body or I will break out in hives, that includes sweat. I live in Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 24/07/2020 14:04

Today, I was trying to take stock and lighten my stress level. This didn’t lead to much because I realized: I am too stressed to be able to remember what exactly stresses me, and I am too busy to keep track of everything I do all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 13

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 501

You deserved it 15 062

Today, my girlfriend, who used to have the sex drive of a rabbit on Viagra, has recently lost all interest. It turns out that because her dad finally approves of me, she’s no longer interested in me. Apparently she only lusted after me when her dad didn’t like me, so now I’m of no interest to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 122

The Top

Today, my girlfriend's dad let me borrow his car for transportation to work because mine got totaled. This car is a complete dump and I've realized he's only letting me use it so it's my fault to fix the broken things on the car. So far, I've had to replace the battery and two popped tires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 040

You deserved it 663

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 368

You deserved it 3 658

Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 452

You deserved it 2 768

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 992

You deserved it 4 772

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, telling him he needed to be more responsible, and stop relying on me for everything. When I told him to leave, he told me he needed some gas money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 550

You deserved it 5 629

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 545

You deserved it 3 630