Annoying, Relatable and Intimacy: Alpha male behavior

Alpha male behavior

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 256

You deserved it 6 638

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 095

You deserved it 6 143

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 021

You deserved it 7 905

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 652

You deserved it 8 436

By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 15:59 - United States - De Soto

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 2 303

By Sovekipisse - 15/06/2013 22:24 - France - Arthon-en-retz

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 570

You deserved it 4 188

By Embarassed - 30/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 347

You deserved it 3 038

Night on the tiles

By obese_chicken - 06/11/2009 06:59 - Australia

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 8 342

By Cooper491 - 15/09/2011 21:22 - Australia

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 235

You deserved it 60 903

By snitchovich - 27/05/2009 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 859

You deserved it 6 046

By Scarred - 04/09/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 987

You deserved it 5 661

gingermonster16 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:27

Don't FML! That's a compliment. It means you have good boobs. You should have flipped him off though. For those confused: Moaterboating is when you get all up into someones cleavage (in this case) and shake your head left and right while making your lips flap together by breathing air out. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I just laughed at myself writing that description. It sounds soooo ******* dumb when expained, but it is just ******* dumb anyways.

Jonesy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:19

Beggars can't be choosers! =P

Comments

genius_man16 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 15:38

#37 While I agree with you in a sense, I still say it's not really an FML because she could have moved if she wanted. And yes it's a compliment, a perverted compliment yes, but a compliment nonetheless. And yes, I would say the same thing if the OP was a dude.

elmorous 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 13:07

She shouldn't have to move. Freedom doesn't mean he's allowed to do that. It means she doesn't have to put up with it!

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 15:38

You motorboating son of a bitch.

heyyou1203 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 15:42

#37 i love you and couldn't agree more. #45, I'm disappointed in you. As someone who supposedly cares about equal rights (at least judging by your picture), you're one of the most pig-headed men ever. If someone called you a hot ****** (assuming you're gay) would you like that? "Well, ****** means homosexual, so it's not technically wrong. And he said hot, so it's a compliment." Maybe you would, but that point is that it's derogatory. And some women with naturally large breasts can't wear a shirt that doesn't look revealing. Ever see baggy shirts in women's clothing aisles? Of course not, they don't exist. Even if the shirt has a high neckline, you can still see the big boobs popping out. A woman wears a baggy shirt she's called a dyke. Catch 22. And yea she could've moved, but why should SHE have to change when she's not the one doing anything wrong? The old man is the one who needs to change his behavior. PS, I know lots of straight men who don't think Angelina Jolie's hot.

lillyass 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 15:42

#12 hahahaha. spot on.

nibas 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:15

haha. what a a ******* pervert...but think about it...in a few days once u get over it ur gonna be laughing at that incident for the rest of your life. that shit is straight up funny.

justxdream 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:22

#2: hahahahahaha and well, at least you have nice boobs?

unistudentb 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:45

God, I hate it when men think being vulgar and that is a compliment. No, it isn't, it's the opposite of a compliment - it's so disrespectful and lazy. Poor you, OP.

Philthy_02 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:02

how is finding a women attractive and letting her know from a distance being a vuglar-perverted-disrespectful ass? girls are full of them selves some times to think of a lot of guys as pervs; just casue they let a girl know when she's attractive. this is no FML

bexox 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 1:49

The man was acting like a pig! There's a huge difference between complimenting a woman's appearance and acting disgusting, as stated before. He was just trying to be an ass!

daisyfuck 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 14:50

"Wahh! I don't see how motorboating is vulgar/perverted! I go to weddings and compliment how beautiful the brides look by motorboating in their direction all the time! We do it all the time in my country! Motorboating is a common and socially acceptable way to tell a woman they look beautiful! What! I don't see a problem! Wahh!"