Annoying, Relatable and Intimacy: Alpha male behavior

Alpha male behavior

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 256

You deserved it 6 638

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 095

You deserved it 6 143

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 021

You deserved it 7 905

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 652

You deserved it 8 436

By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 15:59 - United States - De Soto

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 2 303

By Sovekipisse - 15/06/2013 22:24 - France - Arthon-en-retz

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 570

You deserved it 4 188

By Embarassed - 30/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 347

You deserved it 3 038

Night on the tiles

By obese_chicken - 06/11/2009 06:59 - Australia

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 8 342

By Cooper491 - 15/09/2011 21:22 - Australia

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 235

You deserved it 60 903

By snitchovich - 27/05/2009 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 859

You deserved it 6 046

By Scarred - 04/09/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 987

You deserved it 5 661

gingermonster16 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:27

Don't FML! That's a compliment. It means you have good boobs. You should have flipped him off though. For those confused: Moaterboating is when you get all up into someones cleavage (in this case) and shake your head left and right while making your lips flap together by breathing air out. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I just laughed at myself writing that description. It sounds soooo ******* dumb when expained, but it is just ******* dumb anyways.

Jonesy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:19

Beggars can't be choosers! =P

Comments

graciegirl 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:26

#11: it's not a compliment, it's demeaning- show some respect and treat her as a human being! What if certain guys showed girls they thought they were attractive in ways other than treating them as mere sexual objects? hmm....

diabetic_rage 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 17:50

"oh noez, someone thinks I'm attractive!!! MY LIFE SUCKS!!!" Get over it, stop being so conceited. YDI.

voveraite 7

Tuesday 16 June 2009 18:23

#37:

jnic 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 6:28

er... yes, #65? hahah way to go.

bollywood_rocks 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 6:37

Dude, in my case the guy wasright in my face: I was a cashier at the time and he poked me in the chest. I still say this is an avoidable situation and while we're on the issue of me being wrong,should I have gotten the school to fire the professor who blatantly told me he liked my boobs? Because this is the same thing and guess what I did? I AVOIDED making it worse by dropping the class!

Chfanfiction 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 21:00

No, you should have gotten him fired.

elmorous 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 13:16

106. It's your choice how you want to handle it. Don't let anybody tell you differently. There's more to life than revenge.

inkedgeek 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 18:43

can you send me a picture of your boobs?

inkedgeek 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 18:51

oooh #67 I am soooo turned on.

diabetic_rage 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 18:54

#67 is made of win.

firstrule 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:17

So, are they built for speed or comfort?

EKKM 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:37

So did you go home with him?

kingbeau 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 19:39

Ummmm... so maybe he was just, I don't know... OLD, and makes those noises all the time without even realizing it? And maybe he wasn't actually looking at you at all? Half the young people here don't know what motor boating is, and the rest think its a stupid thing to do, so why would you think a fat ugly old guy would be doing that to you?