Annoying, Relatable and Intimacy: Alpha male behavior

Alpha male behavior

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 256

You deserved it 6 638

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 095

You deserved it 6 143

By grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 021

You deserved it 7 905

Fishing

By notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 652

You deserved it 8 436

By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 15:59 - United States - De Soto

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 2 303

By Sovekipisse - 15/06/2013 22:24 - France - Arthon-en-retz

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 570

You deserved it 4 188

By Embarassed - 30/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 347

You deserved it 3 038

Night on the tiles

By obese_chicken - 06/11/2009 06:59 - Australia

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 8 342

By Cooper491 - 15/09/2011 21:22 - Australia

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 235

You deserved it 60 903

By snitchovich - 27/05/2009 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 859

You deserved it 6 046

By Scarred - 04/09/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 987

You deserved it 5 661

gingermonster16 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:27

Don't FML! That's a compliment. It means you have good boobs. You should have flipped him off though. For those confused: Moaterboating is when you get all up into someones cleavage (in this case) and shake your head left and right while making your lips flap together by breathing air out. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I just laughed at myself writing that description. It sounds soooo ******* dumb when expained, but it is just ******* dumb anyways.

Jonesy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:19

Beggars can't be choosers! =P

Comments

Lounia_fml 8

Tuesday 16 June 2009 20:02

#42.. No one said proceeded..

jnic 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 20:18

#68, yeah, I would just LOVE it if Brad Pitt came into a bar and motorboated at my boobs. Because that's so classy and all. :|

rukusrazor 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 20:22

you should have air-kicked his crotch. Demonstrating how you'd take him down.

Lucii_Furr 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 20:33

Oh, how I enjoyed reading these comments. Now then, shall I begin ranting? Good. OP, this truly is a terrible situation for you, you didn't deserve being treated in such a way. While, I understand that you were too disgusted to react. While I hope that you have learned from the situation, I also hope that you never have to use this newfound knowledge. I've gone through the nearly the same situation as you, thus, I understand what you are feeling. Other commenters, how dare you insult her. Is it her fault that she was too stunned to react? After all, she didn't expect someone to do that to her. And she is not saying that he was the oldest, fattest, and ugliest man in the world. She was saying that he was the oldest, fattest, and ugliest man in the group. While beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it doesn't mean she is not allowed to voice her opinion. Compliments take class and finesse, not idiocy and a pervert. Commenter #37, thank you. Thank you for being the one who states that this was not her fault. You truly have my respect.

LolCows 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 21:01

Agree with 45. Anyway ya that sucks, but it wouldn't matter if it wasn't a fat and ugly guy? I mean that is really shallow...

Snazaza 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 21:21

pssh, that happens every day in bars :l

Chfanfiction 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 21:26

NUMBER 37. I APPROVE.

Lucii_Furr 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 0:58

That's idiocity. Why do you think she posted this as an FML? She didn't want people doing that to her. Big breasted women have isues hiding them. Would you rather that she bind?

MarkO_fml 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 1:02

It doesn't matter who the man is or what he looks like. There's just something about those two great, big bags of fat that drive us men crazy. What that man did is just the natural reaction of all men. Usually, we keep it confined to the bedroom but when drinking, all bets are off. I bet even a gay guy has at least some small amount of desire to stick his face down in some well-displayed cleavage and go to town. #77 - I would do the same to you except I would also smush them into my cheeks while I did it. Get over yourself. I would lick 'em until you did like it.