Intimacy: And I oop

And I oop

By AnxiousCucumber - 07/09/2016 20:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boyfriend's dick got stuck in the wrong hole. And by wrong hole I mean the pool filter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 398

You deserved it 2 187

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Same thing different taste

Potholer

By wtfbabe - 22/06/2018 05:00

Today, my husband's dick went in the wrong hole. And by the wrong hole, I mean another man’s anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 789

You deserved it 571

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 953

You deserved it 5 421

That sucks

By funnyERstory - 23/11/2016 04:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I got my dick sucked. Unfortunately, it was by the vacuum nozzle my cousin stuck down my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 979

You deserved it 1 556

The language of love

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 16:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 700

You deserved it 4 496

By fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 3 113

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 826

You deserved it 5 073

Poor Henry

By SierraCheyenne - 26/03/2020 23:09 - United States - Denver

Today, I came home to my boyfriend standing in the living room with his dick in the vacuum cleaner hose. Instead of being embarrassed, he simply said, "The vacuum does it better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 545

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 756

You deserved it 8 003

By Gross... - 16/08/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 630

You deserved it 3 273

What what?

By Anonymous - 25/10/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 813

You deserved it 3 515

Marynfrankie 19

Thursday 8 September 2016 10:57

There are just so many questions left unanswered here.

daz18m 15

Thursday 8 September 2016 11:11

He gives a new meaning "to be sucked off"

Comments

aron666 25

Saturday 10 September 2016 1:23

Why did this FML leave a Final Destination feeling at first...?

WillMM76 12

Saturday 10 September 2016 7:42

Lol!

thecleverbatman 6

Saturday 10 September 2016 8:13

i'm laughing way too hard.

ihateeveeything 8

Sunday 11 September 2016 5:20

That took a very fast turn

macguy4321 14

Monday 12 September 2016 2:33

I'm getting sympathy pains

lalafalla 6

Tuesday 13 September 2016 6:57

Things sure have changed since my day

Ddudug 7

Tuesday 13 September 2016 8:11

Is that what they call it now.

assem977 7

Tuesday 13 September 2016 17:44

did he get it wet?

asterismoos 7

Tuesday 20 September 2016 14:49

Am I the only one who thought about Palahniuk's short story? that's the stuff nightmares are made of.

zzleepyhead 8

Thursday 22 September 2016 5:50

But... how?

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 090

You deserved it 13 428

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

The Top

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 926

You deserved it 3 545

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 501

You deserved it 6 578

Today, I realised that my friend and I have the same cute, round belly. The problem is that she’s seven months pregnant and I’ve been on a diet with an intensive gym program since January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 223

Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 554

You deserved it 13 437

Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 720

You deserved it 3 961

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 395

You deserved it 7 074

Same thing different taste

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