Big deal

By Like mother like daughter - 24/02/2015 22:25 - United States - Aurora

Spicy
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 780
You deserved it 9 608

Same thing different taste

Top comments

drayloon 50

Judging by your name OP, I assume this is a family tradition?

tacopandaroo 12

This is why it's important to start talking to your children early.

Comments

Cozy_Blanket 16

To be fair I've heard that asphalt can be quite the aphrodisiac!

graphicstyle7 17

I remember telling my mother I was sexually active. Even though I was 18 and it was legally ok for me to have sex, she made a big, whopping deal of it and cried and laid a HUGE guilt trip on me. Please don't be that kind of mom. Spilt milk, the big event happened too soon, but it happened in the past. Just wish her luck, and remind her that safe sex involves birth control pills, condoms, and trusting your gut.

The girl might not feel like it was too soon. Nbd really.

It's a big deal if the girl ends up pregnant while still living with mom.

who knows how many times shes had sex since

It matters because she might not have a proper sexual education, (her mother just started to talk about "the first time", for example) so she might not know how to protect herself, from getting pregnant or get some STD. Even when sexually active, some girls/boys are way to young to know about the consequences it involves.

Knowing her age would help tell if this is bad, or horrible...

Or down right terrifying, to the point of losing faith in mankind..

chef4money 12

I could not agree more and I really hope for a update soon. this actually makes me sick because I image that she was preteen/young teen. op's name doesn't help much.

misschelseagrin 8

Either way, it's pretty horrible. Even if she's 18 that means she lost her virginity at 15. And that's best case scenario.

97- That wouldn't necessarily be so horrifying, as long as she's been taught about protection, STDs etc. by someone. I lost mine when I was 15 and I haven't been scarred for life.

That's what you get for saying it's a big deal, OP

Why would you be surprised based on the title?

I lost mine in the schools bathroom in the basement......I was high during it and greatly regret it

...In a parking lot? Really??? I mean, losing your virginity is meant to be something special that you wanna do somewhere recluded so you can enjoy the moment, and she did it in a parking lot out in the open? Does children nowadays even care about this anymore?

At first I assumed it meant in the back of a car, and then I read the comments. I guess it could have been out in the open, just kind of unthinkable to me.

SargeRho 6

Nope. Just about nobody considers it something special to lose ones virginity. Most of us wanted to lose it ASAP.

Virginity really isn't a if deal. Nothing magical happens. Would you say the same about a male?

No one should have sex until they are financially able to take care of the child. Obviously someone still living with their parents is not. This whole 'having sex as a teen isn't a bad thing' attitude society has developed is idiotic.

Did you just wake up from cryo sleep after being frozen for 60 years?

71- So what would you say to adults who aren't financially ready for a child, or who just don't want a child? Should they just never have sex?

If they don't want children then they can get 'fixed.' Any time you have sex with even the slimest chance of getting pregnant be ready both emotionally and finanially to support the child in the event you get pregnant. If more people followed this rule there would be less unwanted children.

That's a bit of a ridiculous expectation. What about couples who don't want children but may change their mind in the future? If people used protection properly and carefully, the chances of getting pregnant would be very slim. And (I know you won't want to hear this), if accidents do happen, adoption and abortion exist for a reason.

no. virginity isn't special. it doesn't make you less of a person if you'd had sex. we need to stop perpetuating that. I went to a catholic school and they handed out a tissue to pass around and said how it lost value. what about the people who became sexually active without their consent? we need to teach kids to be safe. valuing their virginity is just dumb and no one is going to want to save it. no one should. can you imagine buying a car without driving it first?

131- I totally agree with you. I mean, I don't think people should be having sex at a *really* young age and it doesn't bother me when other people want to wait until marriage but it *does* bother me when people act as if having sex is such a terrible, dirty thing to do. I lost my virginity when I was 15 and, although it probably wasn't the best decision I've ever made, it hasn't scarred me for life. In fact, it doesn't even bother me.

Well, yes really. Of you are not prepared to take care of a child, then you have no business being sexually active.

That just isn't true. Like I said, using protection carefully gives you an extremely slim chance of getting pregnant and if you happen to get unlucky, adoption and abortion exist for a reason. It's ridiculous to expect people to never have sex until they want a child.

Adotion only exists because people are careless with their dirty bits. Sex is for reprodution not plesure. There is other ways to prevent pregnancy that allows sex: anal, oral, handjobs. The fact that people down play the importance of sex and the consequences it has is not good. Both participants need to be aware of what risks are involed and realize that adoption is not a perfect fix. Its not like "damn Im pregnant for the 6th time who wants this one?" It is a long and hard process that affects both the child and the mother emotionally for their whole lives. Be responsible for your mistakes don't just shove them onto another person.

"Adoption only exists for people who are careless with their dirty bits"... what? Even if protection is used carefully, there's still a chance of getting pregnant (although I'd guess you'd argue that having any sex at all counts as "careless"). Secondly, while I agree that adoption is a complicated process which has long term effects, that doesn't mean that it's always such a terrible thing to do. I have a friend who was adopted and she absolutely loves her adoptive parents. Also I wouldn't really call it "shoving your problems onto someone else" when that someone else probably really wants to take care of the child and therefore doesn't see it as a "problem". Also the fact that you even used the phrase "dirty bits" to describe genitals is tragic.

Sex is for reproduction AND pleasure. That's why our nerve endings there have evolved to feel good. It feels good, you do it more, more chance of procreation! It's how our bodies work. Ideally the girl in the fml was old enough, informed, and careful, but if she wasn't, it isn't time to get preachy, it's time to educate.