Intimacy: Bored - FML

Bored

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 11:44 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 7 274

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Same thing different taste

Time to shop

By Anon - 24/03/2021 00:30

Spicy

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 463

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 260

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 5 001

By PTKFML - 26/07/2009 04:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 814

You deserved it 7 621

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 184

You deserved it 4 857

A man without a plan

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 16:30

Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 837

By Anonymous - 21/12/2012 17:24 - United States - Newnan

Spicy

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 912

You deserved it 10 079

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 574

You deserved it 15 533

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 22/01/2009 16:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says, "What's for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 211

You deserved it 29 843

Barf

By Danielle - 25/10/2020 11:02

Spicy

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 190

Next

Top comments

tinker9107 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:20

Was it that boring ?

thisisafunnyname 12

Sunday 22 January 2012 19:39

Maybe instead of "get out more" you should say "get it in more"

Comments

perdix 29

Sunday 22 January 2012 22:19

Cocktail weenies not satisfying you? You ought to boil a kielbasa or a bratwurst, but two pickled eggs at one end, all on a bed of blackened alfalfa sprouts. Put mayonnaise on top. That will fill you right up!

msjoyfull84 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 22:23

Fmls like this make me thankful for my man!!

xxsilentxheartxx 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 22:46

Ahahah! Jenna Marbles

helpme37 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:11

I don't agree ur life sucks I agree it sex life sucks if ur thinking about dinner!!! So sorry for you

LateandGreat 11

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:15

Its strange how a lot of people are just assuming outright that the OP is a woman.

Strwbry3Shortcke 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:20

I know everyone already said it but: Jenna Marbles! HAHA! That sucks though, try cosmopolitan.com, they've got some great articles on sex and relationships to spice up your life in the bedroom!

mosquito19 14

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:22

you eat too much. loose some weight

Broncasaurus 4

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:22

You must be the perfect woman

sandinthewaves 5

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:25

That's actually a problem a lot of people have no matter how good the sex is.

Shayton 12

Sunday 22 January 2012 23:51

Bacon!

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Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media Love AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Technology Education Students Relatable Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 714

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I threw away a bunch of candy wrappers from my pocket, I also managed to throw away $20. That was the only money I had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 500

You deserved it 11 516

Today, my girlfriend tried to look at my phone and I turned it away from her. Now she’s convinced I’m cheating on her. In reality, I’m too embarrassed to admit it’s because Facebook is showing me nonstop ads for laxatives after I ordered some two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 1 122

Today, after my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer, I'd packed my belongings and quit my job to go help my mom take care of him. Now she's had a stroke, so I spend my days/nights taking care of both of them. The thing is, I have 3 siblings that live within 5 miles that can't lift a finger to help. I love my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 96

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 724

You deserved it 4 349

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 482

You deserved it 3 439

Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 205