Poopoo peepee and Health: Butterfingers

Butterfingers

By caqi33 - 08/03/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 225

You deserved it 9 005

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - 14/04/2013 05:10 - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 890

You deserved it 9 989

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 040

You deserved it 2 547

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 7 313

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 154

You deserved it 18 520

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 029

You deserved it 2 796

Messed up

By socal000 - 20/10/2011 12:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 4 865

By analbel - 05/11/2018 12:00

Today, I had to get a urine analysis done for my doctor. I take medicine that makes me a little shaky sometimes. Guess who spilled their pee all over themselves while trying to put the lid on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 848

You deserved it 219

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

By Tib - 18/12/2009 06:42 - United States

Today, I had to take a urine test. I drank a lot of water so that I wouldn't force it. When I got there, I had to pee really bad. The cup was too small and when I relieved my bladder, it was a jet that rebounded off of the cup and overflowed going all over my hands, clothes, toilet, and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 390

You deserved it 26 481

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 20:03 - United States

Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 518

You deserved it 2 923

Buggi_fml 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 23:45

You did

bigbadtim 7

Tuesday 8 March 2011 23:49

Urine trouble now.

Comments

IdontWanna69 8

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:00

Hah, I'd be pissed...

KenzieDanae 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:27

Ooh, I see what you did there.

Primus_fml 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:52

Stevie Wonder could see what he did there.

mcnally664 5

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:56

yeah...that was a wee bit obvious

rebekahmarie 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 8:19

oh you're clever !

PeteyPablo12308 20

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:01

Yay! I've done the exact same thing!!! Mine went all over my shoes as well. :-P

alexandra412 2

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:03

Well done, MC Pee Pants!

sweetchiliheat 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 14:36

Little Brittle!!

CaptainPickles72 18

Wednesday 9 March 2011 0:20

Your parole officer is gonna be pissed.

zeta24 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:00

im sure it smells like it too

lolwutdino 9

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:18

You pisser..ha. FYL. 0:

LilithHellfire 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:22

and it smells like it too

jewels1877 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:23

But only you can feel it's true warmth!

alkaid 14

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:38

" I now not have.."??

nerdsgetmehot 22

Wednesday 9 March 2011 1:56

Well, in a way...You DID piss yourself.

nikki9tails 3

Wednesday 9 March 2011 6:01

totally agree

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 80

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 195

The Top

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 596

You deserved it 8 937

Today, my family decided that we should have our breakfast at a hawker centre, so I passed my house key to my sister as she carries a bag with her. After our meal, she said she was meeting her friend, so we went back home instead, only to realize that the door was locked and my sister had the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 819

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 970

You deserved it 18 556

Today, after we had sex for the first time, my boyfriend shouted, “Huzzah! My genes will live on!” We used a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 222

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 795

You deserved it 1 974

Today, I got 4 "photo enforced" speeding tickets in the mail. It was from the car that was stolen from me three weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 326

You deserved it 2 839