Work, Awkward and Intimacy: Casual perv - FML

Casual perv

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 01:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 499

You deserved it 6 037

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Same thing different taste

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 168

You deserved it 2 595

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 663

By yournick - 31/01/2011 21:23 - Canada

Spicy

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 255

You deserved it 4 834

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 292

You deserved it 12 379

Congratulations, you played yourself

By danielle - 23/04/2009 07:16 - United States

Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 222

You deserved it 260 126

Sting

By gimme beer - 13/06/2023 18:00

Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 150

By NotBeingPaidEnough - 03/03/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 457

You deserved it 1 323

By killmenow - 10/09/2012 17:52 - United States - Seattle

Spicy

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 276

You deserved it 77 686

Let em in

By Kerrilyn - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window, telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 160

You deserved it 55 341

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 564

You deserved it 10 548

Next

Top comments

littlemuffet 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:38

Was he hot?

Roxas_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:37

Wow, creepy.

Comments

lions_me_and_be 6

Monday 30 December 2013 6:09

I hate gay old men they think they can do anything

abc_1_2_3 12

Sunday 13 July 2014 5:52

I would've replied with something like "I would take you home with me, but chances are I'd be charged with murder" xD

coolguy10732 14

Friday 6 November 2015 6:11

Is it weird I imagined him with a Russian accent?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 63 490

You deserved it 4 181

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I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 529

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 14 077

You deserved it 1 908

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I agree, your life sucks 8 578

You deserved it 26 251

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I agree, your life sucks 39 589

You deserved it 13 907

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I agree, your life sucks 39 268

You deserved it 3 070

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I agree, your life sucks 28 794

You deserved it 3 949

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I agree, your life sucks 17 673

You deserved it 35 879