Sex, Embarrassing and Wanker: Caught in the act - FML

Caught in the act

By urmommmm - 22/08/2009 16:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year-olds do at midnight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 346

You deserved it 25 417

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Same thing different taste

Sweet Sixteen

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 13:59 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 97

By Saphira - 11/11/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 258

You deserved it 8 076

Hush, Mother

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 1 068

By TooShort - 03/05/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 378

You deserved it 8 612

By thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 572

You deserved it 3 420

By soliveyerlife - 21/03/2009 09:35 - United States

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 047

You deserved it 128 105

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 04:17

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 616

You deserved it 18 376

Happy Birthday baby!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2020 18:02 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 97

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 15:29 - United States - Denver

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 517

You deserved it 3 459

By 00bsg - 21/12/2013 15:46 - United States - Salem

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 105

You deserved it 4 339

Next

Top comments

aznboytellem 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 21:03

WERE U PLAYIN POKEMANZ?

tyhillman 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 20:57

Ha at least it was dark, either way sucks for you

Comments

CoolAidIsMyName 0

Monday 30 July 2012 7:59

You're fifteen? Sorry. But even in THIS modern world fifteen year olds don't need to be having sex.

missalice0306 19

Saturday 4 August 2012 8:49

I'm pretty sure he was jacking off

CoolAidIsMyName 0

Wednesday 29 August 2012 3:49

I'm pretty sure 15 year olds don't need to be doing that either.

supasophie99 2

Wednesday 29 August 2012 4:38

No, would you please inform me?

Brutalus420 5

Thursday 30 August 2012 13:43

I made an account for this after about 5 months of using the app, just to say... He was masturbating. If you cannot pick that up from the hints in the message. You should not even be on here.

HugoGoldman 12

Friday 24 May 2013 0:53

They were being SARCASTIC.

BloodRedViola 12

Sunday 16 September 2012 3:04

@391 I sleep before midnight.

unicornpower56 7

Friday 9 November 2012 13:05

At midnight I play COD.......yes I am a girl. Otherwise I go to sleep...

G_Lagaffe 4

Thursday 15 November 2012 6:56

Yes we do know...

phoenix310 7

Wednesday 8 May 2013 13:15

At midnight I watch mlp

CheesyFan20 14

Saturday 17 August 2013 20:50

I was thinking he was hitting a good tree but ok lol

The_9th_Doctor 18

Monday 9 September 2013 15:27

lock the door next time

hiwazup_24 4

Tuesday 17 September 2013 13:22

You are still grounded

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Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Social Media Facebook Am I overreacting? AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 199

Today, after having had a sore throat all day, I finally decided to have a throat lozenge on the bus. It was nice and soothing, until the bus sharply turned a corner and I started coughing and choking on it violently like a cat with a furball. My throat now feels like Satan pissed nails down it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 88

The Top

Today, I finally confronted my father about how rude and tactless he is. It wasn't until I'd finished my rant that I realized he was ignoring me. He then told me to get him something to drink. I replied, "Since you asked so rudely, you can go get it yourself." As soon as I'd said that, he grunted and repeated himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 161

Today, I was refereeing a kid's soccer game, and noticed that on the field next to me was a referee I hated working with. I told the other referee I was working with that he was the laziest and most dumbass referee I had ever worked with. She then slapped me, and told me that it was her grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 636

You deserved it 42 049

Today, my son is still single in his forties, so I asked him about it. Turns out, because he has his buddies and doesn’t want kids, he hires a house cleaning service twice a month and prostitutes twice a week, so he can’t think of any scenario in which a wife could improve his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 622

Today I remembered to put my work uniform in the wash; as I hit start I got an email notification. My landlord confirmed that the engineer will be out to fix the washing machine tomorrow after my housemate reported it as broken. My clothes are locked in the machine that now won't turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 220

You deserved it 226

Today, my family and I went to Olive Garden. Due to my autism, I sometimes have a nervous tic, which presented itself while I was looking at the menu. I would have appreciated it if my mom hadn't then screamed at me to stop in front of the entire restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 615

You deserved it 642

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 719