Intimacy: Charmer

Charmer

By anonymous - 19/09/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I bought a new pack of "feminine wipes" on my way over to my boyfriend's house after a long day of work. He saw them in my purse and sweetly told me I shouldn't be so self conscious. Later on, when he was going down on me, he said, "I take back what I said earlier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 457

You deserved it 9 155

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Same thing different taste

How romantic

By fishtacos - 01/12/2014 03:32 - United States - Fontana

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 172

You deserved it 6 762

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 139

You deserved it 63 338

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

PMS

By tamp - 22/06/2009 07:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything. I replied, "Guess." He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently, I've been bitchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 540

You deserved it 71 197

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 061

You deserved it 895

Steamy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 3 399

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 883

You deserved it 20 681

Ice age

By Drew - 16/01/2022 16:59

Today, my girlfriend was thoughtful enough to buy me some "Dude Wipes" because I work on construction sites and most of the time it's use a Porta Potty or hold it. I was late and decided I'd use the work potty. Grabbed my wipes, did my business., went to wipe and… FROZEN SOLID! Hell of a way to start my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 156

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 237

By onething - 08/07/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 895

You deserved it 17 946

sallen0046 4

Sunday 19 September 2010 9:25

Why would you spend a "long day at work" in the summer and not bathe before you get your boyfriend to shove his face into your stank ******? Common sense, lady.

lionandthelamb61 9

Sunday 19 September 2010 9:09

gross, it's called showering

Comments

gman79 0

Sunday 19 September 2010 20:09

ydi, no one likes swamp snatch

Sn00kiienae 0

Sunday 19 September 2010 23:04

Dammmmmn I woulda pist in his face lmao

amberita28 0

Monday 20 September 2010 7:29

I think she meant pissed. lol! get it together!

stormin972 0

Monday 20 September 2010 0:18

YDI for smelling like a Malaysian fish market. Clean your shit, and stop whining.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Monday 20 September 2010 3:59

You shouldn't need feminine wipes if you bathed and cleaned yourself regularly.

OneShotSnipa 0

Monday 20 September 2010 5:13

omg you are gorgeous !!

No_habla_espanol 11

Monday 20 September 2010 8:28

oneshot: I agree! :)

monnanon 13

Monday 20 September 2010 10:57

She could have had a bath/shower that morning but sweated all day at work, she wouldn't smell but she would still taste sweaty to her bf.

Imnewhere 21

Monday 20 September 2010 4:56

hello beautful

brennboo 3

Monday 20 September 2010 7:41

hello creeper :)

insertclevername_fml 0

Monday 20 September 2010 13:33

Totally agree 100% with 5t3ff1k4h Though this FML smells fishy to me! Oops..I mean "sounds" ;-)

loriaking18 0

Monday 20 September 2010 18:29

okay here is how to wash ur poon. wash all the outside then you wash the inside with the soap water and rag make sure to get in the actual hole... it will not smell!

monnanon 13

Tuesday 21 September 2010 10:43

are you an idiot? you NEVER read it carefully now NEVER WASH INSIDE THE HOLE!!!!!!! A ****** has a natural cleaning and lubrication system and as I pointed out before even after stitches (and all the horrible stuff that happens down there after childbirth) you never wash in the hole, I was told to direct water to the area but not to actually force anything inside. Enjoy having thrush all your life.

Fishfanatic 7

Monday 20 September 2010 19:20

OP, do not under any circumstances follow loriaking18's advice unless you want to badly upset the PH balance of your ****** and get a horribly uncomfortable yeast infection such as Thrush. *Unscented* soap and water are fine for the outside and pubes but NEVER the labia or right inside. Just plain warm/lukewarm water is best for that area. Also, you could have simply gone to the bathroom under the pretence of using the toilet, and simply filled the sink and given your intimate areas a rinse before sex. Really not difficult.