Love, Awkward and First Dates: Cheeky

Cheeky

By BurnedByAWaiter - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 599

You deserved it 8 453

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Suave

By getmoneyab - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 922

You deserved it 68 493

Classic fraud

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 160

Disbelief

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 727

You deserved it 3 188

Running late

By SMV - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 251

You deserved it 6 095

What did you just say?

By keeks_25 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 242

You deserved it 26 137

Silly idea

By jameen - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Tadley

Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 47 264

Paranoid

By MaddyN - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 042

You deserved it 3 537

I'm confused

By confusedbagel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 4 113

How could you?

By Ashlee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 258

You deserved it 7 918

There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 649

You deserved it 2 923

NYC_Yoshi 3

Tuesday 24 May 2011 18:49

don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it.

JacksonCampbell 9

Tuesday 24 May 2011 18:54

I really hate being put in the situation where you don't know if you should tell the truth or not. I, however, applaud the waiter. He did neither.

Comments

dvl2035 10

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:25

all of u Sayin report the waiter are idiots. OP can't handle the truth so OP shouldn't have asked.

mzfoxy31 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:53

Amen to that!!! Who asks a stranger how they look?? Who cares?!! Sheesh!!!

e2m2cent 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:27

truths always bitter .. well I guess he didn't get a tip

HannahLouise96 13

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:27

Well, SOMEBODY'S not getting a tip!

liongrou_fml 4

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:30

ha ha i love that guy!

SmittyJA24 26

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:42

I'm curious: Did the "blind date" guy ever show?? Inquiring minds want to know....

pinkspaceboundro 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:45

I would have said, oops well there went your tip!

shakeTHEworld 12

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:50

I think he's just messing with you, you know, you fussing about your looks and all.

mzfoxy31 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:51

U must have already known the answer! A pretty girl never asks anyone (especially a waiter) how she looks!!!lol....YDI for fishing for compliments!

CateXOX 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:54

Well you did ask his opinion. Would you have preferred him to lie?

bonerlicious23 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 20:57

today, I made fun of one of my ugly customers that was on a blind date and she didn't leave me a tip. FML

Djzom13 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 22:06

Screw you, heartless bastard :) have a nice day!

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 4 080

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

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I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 112

Today, I'm working an 8-hour shift on less than 3 hours of sleep. In order to stay awake, I chugged 3 Red Bulls. Now I can't feel my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 855

You deserved it 6 838

Today, it was my first day alone with the kids since my separation. Knowing how my ex is a health nut, I made a super healthy dinner for the kids. When she collected them afterwards, she said that if I had cooked like that when we were together, she wouldn’t have fucked Angus. Who the hell is Angus? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 239

You deserved it 216

Today, I left my sunroof on my truck open for 5 minutes while I ran into the bank. When I came out, a seagull had gotten into my truck. I managed to open the doors and get it out, but not before it tore up a seat and pooped everywhere inside my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 685

You deserved it 7 446

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I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 72

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 77

Same thing different taste

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