Health: Childfree

Childfree

By Anonymous - 17/08/2015 08:33 - United States

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 703

You deserved it 42 894

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

How could you?

By Anon - 25/07/2022 06:00

Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 567

Happy days

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 1 107

By DaChief - 31/05/2016 03:17 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 375

You deserved it 1 107

By DevastatedWoman - 11/08/2015 15:30 - Belgium - Kalmthout

Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 559

You deserved it 2 035

By Haitwun - 14/12/2015 07:29 - United States - El Monte

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 191

You deserved it 2 626

By N/A - 25/09/2012 04:13 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 473

You deserved it 2 841

By sadface - 03/02/2010 11:58 - France

Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 062

You deserved it 9 164

No kidding

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 18:41 - United States - Portland

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 921

You deserved it 10 865

By kaybax - 19/11/2011 11:42 - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 083

You deserved it 46 572

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 457

You deserved it 96 711

Welshite 39

Monday 17 August 2015 23:44

Get a vasectomy if you don't want children. Sympathize with your girlfriend because learning of infertility can be devastating for some.

GavinoFreedom 20

Monday 17 August 2015 23:43

Well I would say that you deserved it but you already know that.

Comments

Shadow9876 19

Friday 8 April 2016 16:44

What the actual ****, dude..

storethis 17

Tuesday 10 May 2016 5:26

My mom was like that :) im lucky to be born

aboynamedjude 8

Wednesday 28 September 2016 3:02

Why would any woman want to be with such an insensitive piece of shit?

GamerMom392 19

Thursday 13 October 2016 16:01

You're lucky if all you got was the silent treatment, but I hope she broke up with you for being so cruel and insensitive. I can't imagine how devastating it would be to be told you could never have children. You sitting there, getting happy about it sure didn't help, though.

rubberduck_of_doom 31

Tuesday 27 June 2017 16:38

YDI big time. I mean whether or not you want any children (which you should've clarified with your girlfriend beforehand) you should never be happy about someone elses body failing them!!! A lot of my friends want children, badly. They would be absolutely devasted to hear that they won't be able to conceive as it is and then there's this prick next to them (someone who is supposed to support them and care for them) being happy about it. This must've hurt A LOT and it sounds more like your girlfriends FML than yours! "Today, after longing to be a mother, I got told I will never be able to conceive. My a**hole boyfriend next to me was visibly happy about this information. FML" Just saying... I hate when people say this but this time I have to say it myself: She should dumb you. You insensitive, insufferable prick!