Awkward and Health: Collector's item - FML

Collector's item

By Shepaintsmusic - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, an antiques dealer made a joke about chopping off and buying my deformed left hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 762

You deserved it 2 899

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

woodenbo89x 4

Wednesday 29 December 2010 14:56

Man, that is some off-hand humor.

mercedes3210 6

Wednesday 29 December 2010 12:47

how rude.

Comments

imnother 2

Thursday 30 December 2010 5:27

so then you make a joke about skinning and selling his hideaously deformed face. ohhh whoops. no sorry hes just ugly...

In_your_face 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 7:34

When I first read this I was like D= then I was like wait WTF?!

irockfendergirl 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 9:23

53- Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory, jerk. Please don't bother responding, because I won't waste my time reading your garbage. Plus, don't waste your breath- you'll need it to blow up your date.

shanameow 7

Thursday 30 December 2010 10:09

At first I read this as "MY antiques dealer," and thought maybe you two knew each other well enough for some sort of joke. But just some random dealer? I'm very sorry. =[ I don't know if it's more creepy or rude...

stoych 19

Thursday 16 August 2012 3:06

slutty picture, necessary much?

hadi_brown 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 13:09

LOOL same here lmao

landseasky 0

Friday 31 December 2010 5:46

Dude, i have a deformed left hand too. I know how weird people can get about it.

MoMocakes 0

Friday 31 December 2010 18:50

I saw that on the tv show oddities

shepaintsmusic 6

Saturday 29 January 2011 7:13

no you didn't.

huzzzzzzahh 2

Saturday 19 February 2011 20:23

Those antiques are gonna cost you an arm and a leg.

santasadiekins 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 20:49

that was a little mean.. I woulda smacked him or something.

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Anxiety Mental health Technology Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 712

The Top

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 449

You deserved it 34 808

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me that I appear to have gained some weight. After realizing that it made me feel depressed, he tried to make me feel better by making love to me. I decided to go with it. While doing so, he paused and said, "I'm sorry baby, but your weight is too much pressure for my back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 661

You deserved it 8 692

Today, I was awakened by my father saying how proud he was of his little boy. I assumed he meant me, since I landed an apprenticeship in the same union he's worked in for 25 years. Turns out he was speaking about his cat, who left a dead squirrel next to my bed. I stepped on the damn thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 260

You deserved it 224

Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a V-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year-old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 637

You deserved it 60 490

Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 817

You deserved it 32 635

Today, I heard a little girl saying how much she didnt want braces to her mom because they hurt and make people look ugly. I looked at her and said, "Aww, there not that bad. See, I have them!" I then smiled to show her. She turned to her mom and said, "See!" then started to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 294

You deserved it 10 500