Sex, Accident and Intimacy: Cool moves, bro - FML

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 369

You deserved it 5 692

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Same thing different taste

Romantic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to pick me up, throw me over his shoulder and take me to the bedroom. Little did he know that he literally threw me over his shoulder, and I face-planted on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 836

You deserved it 3 166

Cool move, dude

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 660

You deserved it 4 266

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 168

You deserved it 4 026

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 516

You deserved it 5 109

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 312

You deserved it 5 111

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 501

You deserved it 5 009

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Spicy

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 5 452

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 458

You deserved it 3 604

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 946

You deserved it 50 954

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 160

You deserved it 5 702

Next

Top comments

robertlovespi 3

Saturday 30 June 2012 19:29

That's a different way to break the bed during sex...

richy90255 8

Saturday 30 June 2012 19:31

THe bed must have been worn out ... If u know what I mean

Comments

Poetrylover102 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 4:53

Wasn't there recently a FML about some dude breaking glass and giving himself a concussion and his partner contusions from the broken glass while trying to have sex?

Poetrylover102 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 4:56

People need to learn how to have sex properly. Just sayin...

Fmlsea 28

Sunday 1 July 2012 5:06

that sucks sounds like you had a crappy bed hopefully your new one is stronger and tell ur bf not to throw u down so hard sex is suppose to be fun not suppose to injure your partner .

baseballgirl25 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 6:10

DANM!!!!!!!!!!!

hlovesmaya 6

Sunday 1 July 2012 6:29

Ouch? All I can imagine is all those metal springs against your skin!the mood was probably gone after that...

mightymart 5

Sunday 1 July 2012 7:28

Lose some weight

maclieberman 5

Sunday 1 July 2012 7:50

sex fail lol

Cowboy1986 4

Sunday 1 July 2012 12:25

FAT BITCH!!!!

F0reverAl0ne 5

Sunday 1 July 2012 15:19

Still a better love story than Twilight...

tudorgirl12 5

Sunday 1 July 2012 16:06

Are you alright?

diddy1298 2

Sunday 1 July 2012 20:48

fatass!! jk..... physics !!

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 157

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions, and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 2 455

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some Lean Pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 207

You deserved it 40 998

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 636

You deserved it 7 539

Today, my job offer from 2 weeks ago was rescinded. My "new boss" didn't like my last performance review. I'd spent 30 hours preparing a case study for the second interview. He wants me to be a "standup guy" and withdraw my application voluntarily, so HR doesn't have to get involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 324

You deserved it 345

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 080

You deserved it 10 551

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 908

You deserved it 18 147