Embarrassing, Relatable and Love: Cool moves

Cool moves

By littlegirl - 07/05/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 585

You deserved it 45 364

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Same thing different taste

By braceface - 07/07/2010 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I worked up the courage at lunch to sit next to the girl I've been in love with for 3 years. Everything was going great. That is, until I sneezed and my retainer shot out my mouth, and landed in her lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 249

You deserved it 8 029

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 162

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 776

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 100

By Unknown - 09/02/2010 05:50 - United States

Today, in art class, I tried to attract my crush's attention by slowly sitting down in front of him. Too bad I missed the chair and fell onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 703

You deserved it 35 194

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 002

You deserved it 4 478

Joe Smooth move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 519

You deserved it 38 448

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 859

You deserved it 8 372

By alisaav - 08/08/2014 07:40 - Thailand

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 267

You deserved it 13 656

By colorfulgina - 12/12/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, I dropped my pencil in Bio and I leaned over to attempt to pick it up. Next thing you know it I tipped the desk over and I crashed onto my crush's lap with my face in his crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 365

You deserved it 6 509

DjeePee 24

Saturday 7 May 2011 12:07

Stare seductively? I bet you scared the shit out of him with your creepy stare.

barlessprison 16

Saturday 7 May 2011 11:55

well at least you made an impression!

Comments

Sonic_boomerang 5

Saturday 7 May 2011 13:47

Now there are boogies in the straw :( hope the drink was almost gone

ryankon518 3

Saturday 7 May 2011 13:49

A great way to break the ice... you should have had him hold your nose. Blood is a great way to get to know people. I'm an EMT, I should know :P

michaelm1290 23

Saturday 7 May 2011 14:41

no your really not..

bachooka 5

Saturday 7 May 2011 13:53

if a girl sucking on a straw reminds you of getting a BJ... it says alot more about you than it does about them. She said she was looking at him seductively, not deep throating the straw.

Tantalum 1

Saturday 7 May 2011 14:11

The straw should have poked you in one of your eye to stop the starring.

Megs431 6

Saturday 7 May 2011 14:21

EPIIIC FAIIL.!!

CitrusGirl 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 14:25

When you're happily married in the future it will be something to laugh about! Then again, he could avoid you for the rest of forever...

butterbear98 3

Saturday 7 May 2011 14:31

is it horrible that I started to laugh hysterically when I read this

afdude87 6

Saturday 7 May 2011 14:32

it depends on how said straw is sucked on. not all girls deep throat, so your argument is null. she was looking at him 'seductively', and trying to suck on a straw. what else is that supposed to make you think about? rainbows and butterflies?