Miscellaneous: Corny jokes

Corny jokes

By embarrassed - 12/07/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 343

You deserved it 12 701

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 2 556

By Anonymous - 16/02/2013 00:39 - Italy - Milan

Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 811

You deserved it 3 779

By FattestUgliestPerson - 18/01/2014 09:45 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 179

You deserved it 7 690

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 259

You deserved it 3 691

Stars of CCTV

By Stfu lil brat smh - 26/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 970

Unnecessary

By Ava K - 01/10/2019 16:02 - United States - San Diego

Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 178

By woopwoop - 18/04/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 221

You deserved it 10 894

By anonymous22kittylicklick - 20/08/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 483

You deserved it 2 845

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

Wait, what?

By HereToLaughAtU - 18/11/2014 04:16 - United States - Des Moines

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 493

You deserved it 4 810

MrGlad 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:44

Cool mom, lol. I wish my mom was like that...

Pb_lily 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 23:45

Oh get over yourself. Your mom is funny.

Comments

renyark209 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:00

Ugh my dad did the same thing in front of my friends. FML and FYL lol.

rukiafujioka 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:01

I don't get it. At all. o.O and I'm a teenager and I think I'm supposed to? FML.

Acer1096xxx 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:03

That's a silly mommy.

fretforyerlatte 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:05

you were totally asking for a "that's what she said" there. go mom!

aiezaiza 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:06

Ah, this made me laugh more than all the other FML's, thankyou thankyou thankyou for posting this, I can imagine it and it's brilliant. Your Mum is incredibly cool to know that joke and also maybe a tad mental. Nothing wrong with mental though. :D

crazy_cat_lady 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:07

Your mom rocks. I'll trade you. My mom thinks that people that eat shellfish are going to hell.

SeventhFonons 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:19

o.O Is it because 'shell' has 'hell' in it? Because that's the only explainable reason I can think of.

redbluegreen 40

Monday 13 July 2009 0:33

Uh... Kosher much?

FarSide 22

Monday 13 July 2009 1:06

They are. Faster than a kerosene cat with gasoline drawers on.

AshleyRose784 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:08

ha! go mom

skiBOAT 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:15

Cool mom? I beg to differ. That wold embarassing me to no end...

tennisismygame 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:21

lolololol thats sooo funny. i used to say that all the time, but then my parents told me to 'tone it down'

sickinlove13 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:21

So what? Seriously, when are we going to have a "so what?" button?

seb12992 0

Monday 13 July 2009 0:47

When are people going to stop asking about this stupid "So what" button. It's never going to happen. To OP: Your mom sounds funny, but that joke is tired.