Miscellaneous: Cue Shaggy

Cue Shaggy

By scully11 - 02/08/2011 18:36 - Canada

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 373

You deserved it 3 376

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Mad lad

By its still broken - 11/06/2015 00:13 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 679

You deserved it 1 979

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 2 118

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 440

You deserved it 1 118

Landlords gonna landlord

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 15:00 - Germany

Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 128

By dorianseiji - 11/03/2015 20:37 - France - Amiens

Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 322

You deserved it 6 840

Welcome to the neighborhood

By wtf dad - 03/03/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 647

You deserved it 2 341

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 707

You deserved it 3 658

By she sure has an arm. - 28/02/2013 11:57 - United States - Clinton

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 691

You deserved it 2 631

Growing

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 06:00

Today, I told my parents that I was planning a garden for my house. My child of a mother got upset and jealous, because, "When you were younger, you hated working outside with us." Sorry for maturing and developing new interests in the past 30 years, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 11:06 - United States - Maryville

Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 498

You deserved it 1 358

tsim_fml 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:06

Your dads the shit.

hollyman 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:05

Hahahhahaha owed by your father!!!!!!!!

Comments

xGoSuckAFatOnex 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 8:50

This made me laugh! XD I'm sorry but your dad is awesome:p FYL though...

Crash_1524 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 8:56

So your dads just own you neighbors ass like that xD

BrimfullOfAsher 20

Wednesday 3 August 2011 9:00

If you're over 18 then it's time to move.

Enigmax2514 7

Wednesday 3 August 2011 9:17

The perfect unsuspecting unwilling scapegoat distracting the victim while the perpetrator makes the perfect getaway

wowguy129 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 9:39

lol FYL take the apples and do the same thing to her and while she's sleeping throw some at a window see if u can brake one

elisabeth1_fml 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 10:15

Your dad rocks.

shekerah 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 10:26

Take those same apples she throned at u and throw them at ur dad...lml

angiedancesalott 8

Wednesday 3 August 2011 10:31

this sounds like more of a fictional story rather than an FML.

RinaRina 9

Wednesday 3 August 2011 10:45

be happy, now you both have pears and apples :D for free!

kimmysix 5

Wednesday 3 August 2011 11:04

i just pictured Peter from Family Guy doing that :D

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I came home early from business trip to Paris, where I bought an engagement ring. I was going to take my girlfriend of two years out and propose to her. I sneaked into our house as a surprise and… she was having sex with another man. Now I have a ring that I can only return in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 490

You deserved it 4 181

The Top

Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 780

You deserved it 1 521

Today, my son is a vegan who keeps talking about how Just Stop Oil are technically the good guys. My wife won’t stop crying because she thinks we’ve failed as parents by raising an arsehole. I've had a migraine ever since this argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 320

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 118

You deserved it 32 910

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 950

You deserved it 16 806

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 106

You deserved it 1 904

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 169

You deserved it 4 748