Miscellaneous: Cue Shaggy

Cue Shaggy

By scully11 - 02/08/2011 18:36 - Canada

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 373

You deserved it 3 376

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Mad lad

By its still broken - 11/06/2015 00:13 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 679

You deserved it 1 979

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 2 118

By ugh - 04/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 440

You deserved it 1 118

Landlords gonna landlord

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 15:00 - Germany

Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 128

By dorianseiji - 11/03/2015 20:37 - France - Amiens

Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 322

You deserved it 6 840

Welcome to the neighborhood

By wtf dad - 03/03/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 647

You deserved it 2 341

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 707

You deserved it 3 658

By she sure has an arm. - 28/02/2013 11:57 - United States - Clinton

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 691

You deserved it 2 631

Growing

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 06:00

Today, I told my parents that I was planning a garden for my house. My child of a mother got upset and jealous, because, "When you were younger, you hated working outside with us." Sorry for maturing and developing new interests in the past 30 years, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 11:06 - United States - Maryville

Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 498

You deserved it 1 358

tsim_fml 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:06

Your dads the shit.

hollyman 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:05

Hahahhahaha owed by your father!!!!!!!!

Comments

seracy13 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:13

*points* it my dad you lunatic!!! Lol

sparxva 12

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:15

Sounds like your Dad deserved it. Lock your Dad out of the house and then help your neighbor pelt him with apples.

macsterfun 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:32

That I remember. The last thing I saw before I died, was watching you being crudely jizzed on, and then you being thrown into that van. Ew. Why pink? I mean if you want to go around jizzing on people at least make the van white, so people might just clue in what will become of them.

kduubb 7

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:36

Funniest fml ever !(:

eighteenkarma 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:36

Bad ass old person :D

macsterfun 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:43

Oh thank you KaySL!!!! Thank you, thank you!!! I always dreamed of having a sack of testicles to stroke at night! You are just so kind!

Legendslayer222 26

Wednesday 3 August 2011 1:48

But throwing those apples means she'll loose even more produce! Next she'll see you picking up one of the apples and will start lobbing potatoes your way. Best you get out of their before you are buried under the weight of the contents of her vegetable patch.