Love, Health, Embarrassing and Periods: Dad joke

Dad joke

By bookworm94 - 27/07/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 833

You deserved it 16 744

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Same thing different taste

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 586

You deserved it 31 059

By AnnoyedByFriends - 08/08/2013 04:43

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 738

You deserved it 9 703

By jakeson12 - 24/11/2012 00:38 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 3 539

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 390

You deserved it 4 328

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 424

New phone, who dis?

By Raleigh - 13/10/2024 16:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 121

By Loho - 25/03/2009 02:46 - Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 894

You deserved it 105 003

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 727

You deserved it 5 789

By rarara - 30/10/2012 21:26 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 199

You deserved it 3 071

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 20:42 - United States - Boulder

Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 489

You deserved it 2 385

smiller0789 3

Monday 27 July 2009 12:11

*wonders how old OP is*

SirAwesome 0

Monday 27 July 2009 12:18

Why the "including the guy I like" part? I mean, how is it bad that he knows you're a woman?

Comments

7spears 0

Friday 5 November 2010 21:21

first of all, no mature woman would call their father immature for doing something like that. I think you're just some 15 year old typical teenager who thinks you're smarter than dad. get a life

Lady_Zydrate 1

Tuesday 4 January 2011 16:44

If that was true, I have been a woman since I was 11.

xShannonxSammyx 7

Friday 11 February 2011 22:35

Okay, I'm a girl, and just because you bleed out your ****** doesn't mean you're a woman.

prenticehill 4

Sunday 6 March 2011 17:05

Steal his phone and text to all of his contacts that he has a scat fetish.

bhurberry 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 16:39

i'd laugh with my dad if he did that to me.. then punch him after.

meshee03 0

Friday 1 July 2011 16:46

having a period doesn't make you a woman. I got mine when I was 9

TheBoss47_fml 3

Saturday 13 August 2011 16:28

I would take his phone and send a text all his contacts with the same shit

ChangMu 8

Monday 31 October 2011 4:39

Oh no! My crush knows that I menstruate just like every other healthy female in his age range! My life sucks! Sweetie,if you want to be grown up, might wanna start there.