Sex, Pranks, Awkward, Dad jokes and Intimacy: Dad jokes! - FML

Dad jokes!

By Chels - 11/05/2011 05:17 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 516

You deserved it 5 325

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Same thing different taste

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Spicy

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 813

You deserved it 4 327

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 054

You deserved it 5 469

By iris - 18/05/2012 23:01 - Portugal - Lisbon

Spicy

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 247

You deserved it 36 265

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 887

You deserved it 4 880

By Anonymous - 12/09/2010 16:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 10 317

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 417

You deserved it 23 273

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 543

You deserved it 48 717

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 870

You deserved it 5 563

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 098

You deserved it 9 707

By cumhole - 10/10/2012 02:32 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 554

You deserved it 69 900

Next

Top comments

coolkid_matt 11

Wednesday 11 May 2011 12:09

hahaha :D awkward

Badtz_maru_fml 0

Wednesday 11 May 2011 12:10

-Insert awkward silence-

Comments

bballwarrior 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:12

and the room goes dead!

smallbarkbigbite 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 3:44

hahaha tht sucks

kaylapple 1

Tuesday 26 July 2011 22:15

that was too funny!

geo26620 3

Friday 29 July 2011 3:35

Pahahaha... tumble weeds! really sick but really funny...

Jawa99 9

Tuesday 13 September 2011 1:37

Oh, parents. Y U SO FREAKY?!

Kiirst_mt1994 26

Wednesday 19 October 2011 2:50

I guess this incident was followed by a REALLY awkward silence...

MissSmileyFace 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 10:12

Im pretty sure he was mocking your bf. I thought it was funny.

stonedfishies 10

Thursday 28 June 2012 13:20

That's really creepy, especially coming from your father.

jjmiller1001 17

Saturday 4 August 2012 14:37

Ewwww!

fail_gurl21 7

Friday 9 November 2012 9:30

awkward much?

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Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 118

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 433

Today, without trying, I convinced my 24 year-old daughter that Stop signs with a white border around it were optional. Her car is now totaled and she’s in the emergency room with whiplash. I didn’t think she’d be that gullible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 2 665

Today, my parents came back from their holiday and were constantly asking about "the girl I had over". They thought so because of the two wine glasses in the dishwasher. I didn't have anyone over. I just got drunk two nights in a row and was too lazy to clean the first one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 584

You deserved it 843

Today, at a family dinner, my grandma asked me why I’m still single. Before I could answer, my dad, always ready with dad joke, quipped, "Because everyone he tries to date runs away faster than he can catch them." My family laughed, and my grandma just nodded and said, "Makes sense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 90

Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had "cleaned up a bit" on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 577

You deserved it 3 327

Today, I helped a guy in a flaming car by busting his window to get him out. I didn't realize until after the crash scene was cleared, that I didn't just have his blood on me, but I also had cut from the window. Round 3 of HIV testing here I come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 143

You deserved it 300