Miscellaneous: Date night

Date night

By Anonymous - 30/04/2011 05:21 - United States

Today, I went out on a date with an ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen since college. He took me to a bar, where he was oddly quiet, but drank heavily. When the bartender asked us if we were ok, he replied, "This is my ex-girlfriend. Can you believe she used to be skinny?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 138

You deserved it 7 994

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I'll have the Catfish

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 140

By perfectlybrokenx - 24/08/2010 04:21 - Canada

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 796

You deserved it 52 192

Devious

By savvylady - 18/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 631

You deserved it 6 729

By anonymous - 19/11/2016 18:35 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 383

You deserved it 1 512

By jimmy_poison - 09/02/2015 00:19 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 236

You deserved it 2 940

Is this a joke?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 19:06 - United States

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 730

You deserved it 3 894

Awkward

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 02:01

Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 1 345

By aireeahna - 20/05/2016 06:04 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex-girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 131

You deserved it 1 096

By Noname - 15/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 344

You deserved it 5 629

That one annoying friend

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 01:00 - Brazil - Sao Jose do Rio Preto

Today, I went to an old boyfriend's birthday party. An annoying friend suggested that we should try dating again. We were both with our new partners, who were standing nearby when she said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 152

forestqueenie 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 15:37

what an ahole! I bet you're gorgeous! don't mind what he says...

demonxshadow 1

Saturday 30 April 2011 16:10

well then you must be one big dick.

Comments

ThatLooksSticky 16

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:01

...and that's when you remembered why you two are no longer dating.

bzett 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:04

ha! the things that come out of peoples mouths when their drunk...

yummycupcakegirl 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:05

Wow, leave the bar and dont look back...

corrinaswan 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:06

wht a jerk but maybe it's cuz he's really drunk

oblio 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:18

Ooh, a mean drunk. Sounds like he's your ex for a good reason. Just think of allthe verbal abuse you're missing since you're not with him. Just think of him, middle aged with a beer belly sittin on the couch yelling "Make me a sammich, fatty" and thank your lucky stars that you'll never be with him!

ECMchase 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:21

One getting drunk is stupid, depressed or happy you always wake worse than you are. two say "Can you believe that he use to not have a broken nose"

zowieandzander77 1

Saturday 30 April 2011 18:57

huh???

monagro 22

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:27

He probably thinks its true.

perdix 29

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:27

If I decided to reconsider an ex and found that she'd let herself go and became a porker, I'd probably drink myself into a stupor, too. You should have given him a heads-up that you blew up before you went out. The beeps you emit when you move backwards are not enough.