Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Spicy
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 976
You deserved it 10 760

Same thing different taste

Top comments

It could have been worse. At least you didn't accidentally send it to his father.

You should not start a kinky message with: (a) I'm going to stab you. (b) I am out buying a strap on.

Comments

Stick to the origin of **** => Heavy breathing.

zakkyzebra 11

I can see it now text to boyfriend: *breathes heavily*

Oh shit, I have received that text before. lol

loveofyourlife11 0

haha! WTF?!?! that sucks op. maybe you should try watching some movies or something to get pointers.. :/ idk. I never had a problem with those kind of messages. it just comes to me. keep trying. I'm sure you will get the hang of it. :)

perdix 29

Saying you want to "lick his wee-wee" or you want him to "finger your woo-woo" just isn't sexy. Learn to use the grown-up terms for genitalia and you might get the desired response.

Just go with it, he'll never have to know. And see if you can pick up some skills somewhere. Also, I'm very curious what you sent him.

OOH i lv u bby, wna tch n sck ur cck. mmmm ya lol Like this?

HayHayMoose 0

How could you read that? :p

pomplemussy 0

That's a proper sext. But seriously, when you try to be sexy, spell it out. ths is nt atrctve (this is not attractive)

WallyTheWombat 0

it dsnt turn u on wen ppl txt liek dis? the only cool way 2 txt is by usng as little lettrs as possible & nvr press da bckspce buttin. mak sure u spel evryting bad 2.

kinga08 0

I think you should remove kinky from your description since it obviously did not do the trick. It's really not that hard and doesn't require much effort, so I'm kind of dying to know what you sent him. Can't send kinky text messages about things you aren't really thinking about or want to do, seems like you forced it.

WallyTheWombat 0

Doesn't require much effort especially if you're texting a dude. "Baby I'm stopping at the store on the way home, do you need me to pick anything up?" We'll find a way to make it dirty. It's amazing really.

fortgarrison 1

id hate to see how akward you are in person

Landon531 0

You should have sent back a message saying "I WANT TO F*** YOU!!!"

kinga08 0

Right, short and straight to the point, I like it. If a guy doesn't get turned on just by that, then there's something wrong with his penis.