Farts and Work: Denial

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

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Same thing different taste

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 14 868

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 883

You deserved it 5 186

Sorry, I…

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 14:33 - United States - Brownwood

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 836

You deserved it 6 955

Toot toot

By Anonymous - 08/07/2022 12:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 397

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 8 112

It's a gas gas gas

By annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 765

By dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 167

You deserved it 6 846

The sweet smell of success

By NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 640

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 823

You deserved it 42 655

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 13:34 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 687

You deserved it 7 225

Medieval_Unicorn 24

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:48

You gotta own it, assert dominance, they'll know you don't mess around if you make eye contact while it's happening

Stripez234 16

Thursday 8 September 2016 14:45

That... Is utterly hilarious

Comments

shitstorm28 11

Thursday 8 September 2016 21:03

at that point it's better to just own it. at least then somebody might get a laugh out of it.

maharb01 17

Thursday 8 September 2016 21:16

this reminds me of a time that I had just started dating a girl that I really liked, and I visited her at her school for a long weekend. I didn't do it on purpose, but my body was involuntarily holding everything in to the point that I started getting stomach cramps. So I went to the restroom where my body let it's guard down, and then proceeded to "vent" loudly for, no exaggeration, 30 seconds. About halfway through I was laughing uncontrollably resulting in a series of pfffts which made me laugh even harder. Then I was good for the rest of the weekend!

cchamberlin1 13

Friday 9 September 2016 1:11

Talking about laughing and your farts going with the laugh killed me

delichick 27

Friday 9 September 2016 13:44

OMG I laughed so hard. That would be something Id do

stevenbro 6

Thursday 8 September 2016 22:31

Reminds me of the old joke--Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too...

manuwish 9

Thursday 8 September 2016 23:55

best part is, your bellow wasn't me may have sounded like you calling it yours XP, laugh it off, OP, farts are natural

nyagemini23 22

Friday 9 September 2016 0:29

omg! I almost popped a blood vessel I laughed so hard!

brenton490 19

Friday 9 September 2016 1:43

That's why you have to have a name in mind for blame 1 second after it starts. So it goes something like this. *fart...1 second later* "Ahhh Jim wtf man".

Agent JPN 9

Friday 9 September 2016 1:58

You need to treat farting in public just like you would walking around your apartment/house naked with the windows open. Maybe no one will see you most of the time, but eventually someone will. So, you have to own it... look your old neighbor in the eye, smile, and continue on in your naked glory with all the swagger it deserves.

frostedfoster 15

Friday 9 September 2016 2:13

Speak O'toothless one.

writerchic85 25

Friday 9 September 2016 2:15

It went on for 10 seconds and you couldn't pinch it off?

OhPuhleeze 23

Friday 9 September 2016 3:15

Let me give you some advice, bastard. Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour, and it can never be used to hurt you.