Sex, Weird, Relatable and Intimacy: Desperate Dan - FML

Desperate Dan

By BKCK4187 - 20/12/2011 03:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got aroused by the vanilla scent from an unused trash bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 188

You deserved it 6 907

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Fragrant

By nooneinparticular - 21/05/2020 08:00

Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 187

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 565

Oddly specific

By RowerBud - 02/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Cleveland

Spicy

Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 927

By smellsgood - 13/03/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 422

You deserved it 11 385

By Hormones apparently - 08/12/2015 02:32 - United States - Westerville

Spicy

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 978

You deserved it 3 559

Good smell

By smellslikeroses - 30/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 1 915

By urinetrouble - 04/05/2017 06:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, while checking the men's bathroom at work, I noticed one of the air fresheners had fallen from the top of the paper towel holder into the garbage. It wasn't until I picked it up and examined it that I realized I was actually holding used urinal fresheners. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 443

You deserved it 1 592

Flavor of the month

By potpurri_needed - 10/06/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 192

You deserved it 60 985

I can explain

By 1nn0cen7 1 sw3ar - 06/05/2022 14:00

Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 175

Mixed feelings

By thefriedman - 12/02/2013 04:59 - United States - Perris

Spicy

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 602

You deserved it 8 701

Next

Top comments

ceilingfans 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:22

I found this hard to ********** to

abbytequiere 9

Tuesday 20 December 2011 8:23

Oh, you're so dirty...

Comments

SILVERSTAR_6 17

Wednesday 21 December 2011 7:11

This some weird shit...

ambercunningham 7

Wednesday 21 December 2011 14:03

At least it's unused rubbish bags that arouse you, rather than used ones.

MonGuillaume 2

Wednesday 21 December 2011 18:39

IM NOT THE ONLY ONE

picturescrazy 24

Thursday 22 December 2011 6:34

We use the same trash bags :] Makes sense though, guys tend to like my vanilla-scented body products more than the others, so I'd assume vanilla is an aphrodisiac.

karabear14 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 7:15

I'm ******* myself right now to that scent and I'm cumming all over my vibrator!!!!!!!

bethal 8

Thursday 22 December 2011 23:23

You knew her middle name, right?

garret420 3

Sunday 25 December 2011 22:06

I know your pain dude vanilla is amazing

blutigenbonbon 10

Monday 26 December 2011 22:29

LMAO

sodapopper 6

Saturday 31 December 2011 7:19

I can relate. Cinnamon turns me on. I used to make an exgirlfriend chew big red cinnamon gum before we made out...

jimshrimp 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 7:52

thats quite a "dirty" fetish XD

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 606

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, after spending about 5 years to go back to school, get my life together and get a real job, I now make about $100 less a month. I used to work as a dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 484

You deserved it 2 984

Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 569

You deserved it 7 875

Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 211

You deserved it 51 335

Today, I was touring a house I’m interested in when one of the two realtors stepped out for a minute and never came back. My purse was stolen from my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 419

You deserved it 299

Today, I was trying to use the video editing software on my computer for a group project. It then wanted me to purchase another program that cost over $130. One of my teammates told me to buy it, because, "I could afford to skip a few lunches." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 566

You deserved it 943

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 121

You deserved it 2 024