Miscellaneous: Dirty mind

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 15:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 784

You deserved it 2 960

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Same thing different taste

Lingo

By Anonymous - 14/07/2020 08:02

Today, I was alarmed to hear my daughter's boyfriend talk about dropping the kids off at the pool. She has no children. Turns out he was referring to himself taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 1 499

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 319

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 12:03

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 204

By momlife - 28/03/2016 20:45 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to end a phone conversation with, "I gotta go, my daughter's eating toilet paper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 129

You deserved it 2 088

By marisacb - 13/03/2013 18:52 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 299

You deserved it 7 731

By qtpieo1 - 13/08/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 510

You deserved it 9 734

Great, thanks, I hate you

By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 18:09 - Greece

Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 244

You deserved it 4 694

By shizzy09 - 13/04/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 507

You deserved it 5 137

Pissed

By pl. - 03/06/2021 21:59

Today, while on a road trip, I stopped at a gas station and told my kids to go to the restroom. My youngest daughter said, "I had to go earlier, but not anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 165

By Teach - 31/03/2015 07:40 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 2 546

Mideoyeo 12

Monday 25 June 2012 18:59

Its like people don't even think things through these days

gojira666 7

Monday 25 June 2012 18:59

Thats where my mind went too....

Comments

retrorewind 13

Monday 25 June 2012 19:40

so if you really had to go to the toilet, would she wanted you to really say you had to go sh!t...?!!

Poetrylover102 6

Monday 25 June 2012 19:48

Nothing like dropping the Cosby kids off at school!

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 25 June 2012 21:54

That's ****** up, man...

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:27

That's not funny.

canjeelo 0

Monday 25 June 2012 20:07

I really thought you WERE taking your kids to the pool Your friend has a sick mind

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Monday 25 June 2012 20:10

Tell her the kids are great swimmers down and you don't plan on flushing them any time soon.

CountMango 5

Monday 25 June 2012 20:15

How does one even reach a conclusion like that?...

fordman22 0

Monday 25 June 2012 20:18

Pooping in pools is fun!

OfficeNinja 5

Monday 25 June 2012 20:28

Next time invite her over for brownies. Then say you need to drop a deuce in the brownie bowl, and drop a "2" card (from a deck of poker cards) into the bowl. Then say sometimes a literal statement IS a literal statement.