Love, Animals, Dogs and Sleep: Dogs rule

Dogs rule

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 891

You deserved it 340

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Same thing different taste

He prefers the dog

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 999

You deserved it 370

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 14:53 - United States - Middleton

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 922

You deserved it 3 366

Hold me close

By chachi - 28/09/2009 18:25 - United States

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 126

You deserved it 6 758

No Ragrets

By Rodolfo_el - 17/04/2021 10:59

Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 1 891

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 581

You deserved it 7 518

I wanna be your dog

By Anonymous - 12/11/2023 20:00

Today, my wife lost her patience with her aunt but because she can't say anything to her, she takes it out on me. Then she also blames everything on me, in that I didn't do enough to make it stop. I went against my family and relatives to be with this woman, but I get treated as a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 306

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 514

You deserved it 4 197

Justice for Doggy Boy the dog!

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 16:01

Today, I hate my wife’s dog. It destroys everything in the house, it destroys my garden, she barks constantly in her bed, and when I walk her she tries to attack every living thing she sees, but the instant I talk to my wife about her behaviour, I get yelled at for being mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 18:00

Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 995

The doggo of our discontent

By doggone shame - 25/01/2023 08:00

Today, my wife is refusing to go on our honeymoon because the resort we chose won’t allow pets. She’s now angry with me for not checking before we booked the place, and is threatening divorce if I go without her. I told her we could just get a dog sitter, but she refuses. Oh well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 295

Burle 17

Friday 10 May 2019 4:19

No she'd just prefer to not have to listen to whining while she tries to sleep, you've got to train the dog, don't blame your wife

Dave_Davington 33

Friday 10 May 2019 4:28

I really hope for everyone's sake you didn't actually let her order you around like a child. I know it's a meme in sitcoms and the like that the wife can banish the husband to the couch on a whim, but surely real people don't actually behave like that, right?