Gross, Toilet and Health: Eau de toilette

Eau de toilette

By anon - 05/03/2011 10:15 - United States

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 3 124

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Same thing different taste

By kentrm - 11/05/2016 02:12 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 021

You deserved it 1 462

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 732

You deserved it 6 071

By thisreallyhappened - 15/05/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 787

You deserved it 3 981

Wet leg

By meep - 16/03/2017 00:00

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 837

You deserved it 442

Seasons greetings to you too

By leanne - 16/12/2020 17:58 - United States - Denver

Today, I said hi to my coworker and she immediately yelled, "Get your gross unwashed hands out of my face!" I wash my hands compulsively and they were nowhere near her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 96

By LennyLemon - 25/08/2016 13:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 012

You deserved it 1 083

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 1 241

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 037

You deserved it 3 518

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 692

You deserved it 403

By a manly woman? - 09/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 4 978

sthrr 6

Saturday 5 March 2011 16:14

I don't think you wanna know.

perdix 29

Saturday 5 March 2011 16:24

Pussy juice -- she was masturbating in there. She must be a squirter.

Comments

ChrisLTC 3

Saturday 5 March 2011 17:24

finger licking good!

VirgoKisses 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 17:30

piss!!u got a golden drizzle lmao

InvisibleReign 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 16:19

Definitely not water?

atthegates 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 18:01

^ made my day

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 5 March 2011 18:50

Squirters ftw.

spearhead 5

Saturday 5 March 2011 18:52

lol

emodude44 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 21:07

Hot!

perdix 29

Saturday 5 March 2011 16:24

Pussy juice -- she was masturbating in there. She must be a squirter.

Fici 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 5:47

I was gunna say that dick lol

MillerP 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 15:59

um... just wondering, but if he's a guy, why was a girl coming out of the bathroom when he's goin in?

mzeemzima 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 17:52

ughh u got tranny cum in yo face dats nasty man go dip your face in acid

kristelle_fml 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 18:44

97 it was probably a multigender singular bathroom, like some gas stations have

nimzie 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 22:26

ikr...but that's gross

bunniex1 11

Tuesday 3 April 2012 1:30

the fml doesn't specify gender, it could be a girl.

krushr 3

Saturday 5 March 2011 16:23

Congratulations! You've just had your first golden shower.

bossybella 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 0:06

lol

Oz87 5

Sunday 6 March 2011 22:45

hahahahahhaahhhaahahahhaahahahahahahahahahhhahahhaha

dancer_2014 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 7:14

ewwww!

Pb25797051 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 16:26

****** juice, apple juice, toilet juice, water juice

sheenamaedc09 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 18:03

mhm... first FML with no FML at the end... anyway the liquid might probably be handsanitizer just to make you feel better...

Hillary94 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 16:30

Ew...

InsertGirder 6

Saturday 5 March 2011 18:20

No "FML" on the end! ERROR! ERROR! Can not compute! ERROR! Rebooting FML...

throwsomeglitter 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 18:33

You just got shit-faced.

Keywords

Cheating Love Relatable Work Money My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 551

You deserved it 7 856

The Top

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 464

You deserved it 6 701

Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 816

You deserved it 2 323

Today, I had to politely request that my floormate not blast heavy metal music at 4 a.m. His response? "It’s the weekend," followed by him slamming the door in my face and turning the music up. I work weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 100

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 67 441

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager, who said that I was probably a fat loser who still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 236

You deserved it 58 343

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 330

You deserved it 4 607