Family values

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 03:44 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 023
You deserved it 3 406

Same thing different taste

Top comments

She'll probably struggle later in life until she becomes more independent, but you might be better off without this one, sadly

If she really feels that she needs permission, she probably isn't ready for marriage. There's a point when you just have to move on. You can't be in a relationship with someone who still wants to be their parents' baby.

Comments

i had a gf with the same issues. they were inseparable. EVERYTHING we did, she was on the phone with her mom with the details. it was ultimately the reason i broke up with her. and the best part was, after i broke it off with her, her mom sent me a letter detailing how big of a piece of shit i was. lmao...thx for the confirmation that i did the right thing, mom. haha

The same thing happened to me, because of my now ex gf. Her mom was a complete pyscho, who became crazier and crazier every time I went over. The tipping point was when she tried to lock me in a cupboard for 'fun'... After the breakup to escape her deranged, obsessive mom, I then acquired the nickname '********' from said pyscho mom. I will never date someone that close to a crazy mom ever again. FML

Good for you for doing that! I think OP is better off. Imagine marriage in which your mother-in-law would be that close. I love my mom and my boyfriend's mom, but there's a certain boundary not to cross.

You shouldn't have even considered marrying someone like that

You're probably better off op, so sorry you had to go through this though! Hopefully one day she will learn how to be independent and you will find a girl who really is!

My friend, I have walked this path and it's not a good one. If you think she will change, she won't.

I love when people are straight out like you and not make a huge paragraph of what OP should or shouldn't do/ think.

sourgirl101 28

I was like this in the beginning of my relationship with my husband. I was always worried about disappointing my parents and never wanted their disapproval. My husband gave me the encouragement and support to cut those apron strings. Marriage is a huge change especially if she's going from one house to another and mom babied her.

Angry thumbs to my previous comment are correct. That was stupid. Sorry.

Her being so dependant on another person is an indication that the relationship would not of worked out anyway. Maybe not a definite cause but definitely some warning signs directed your way. I would suggest trying to get her some help but this kind of behaviour isn't healthy for a relationship.

I think you should just talk to her. She obviously loves you, while she may not realize the strain her relationship with her mom puts on her relationship with you, she probably does. Ask her to get help. You could even go with her. No child is that dependent on their parent without something happening to make it that way, like a traumatic event, or being conditioned to rely on her mother for everything. I'm also guessing that the mom is equally to blame, if not more so, considering she told her daughter not to marry you like it was her place to do so.

It's not unhealthy, you two are in high school. You're not adults. I had to get permission, I can't just do whatever I want.

Oooooohhhh I thought that promposal, not actually proposing. Yeah, that's a little ridiculous or she's just letting you down easy.

Maybe at first, but as she nurtures a healthy relationship with OP, it will probably get better. OP would probably already notice the signs of dependency upon himself, because she feels close enough to marry him. It's unlikely they'd be talking about marriage without something like dependency arising if it were going to develop.

Where I come from you ask the parents before you even decide to propose. Sorry about the situation though OP.