Love: Fart are funny, period

Fart are funny, period

By amg85904 - 30/01/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 906

You deserved it 6 602

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

This is happening

By mikmak - 20/12/2015 13:26 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 571

You deserved it 3 126

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 11 310

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 482

You deserved it 554

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 3 066

By girlllll - 01/06/2010 12:31 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 328

You deserved it 5 802

Old habits die hard

By atsukobo - 10/03/2012 06:04 - United States

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 675

You deserved it 4 832

By and the truth comes out - 22/07/2014 08:44 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 962

You deserved it 7 641

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 1 350

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 253

You deserved it 19 307

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 9 415

Drew_D 0

Tuesday 3 February 2009 16:24

I just laughed so hard I farted.

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 20:24

My husband farted so bad last night, he woke our baby and the baby cried.

Comments

longtimesunshine 4

Tuesday 19 February 2013 3:53

lol "ripped ass"

imPROcrastinator 4

Saturday 7 December 2013 23:19

imhope 23

Sunday 29 December 2013 7:05

Holy shit. I just died laughing lol

lil_ham1644 29

Wednesday 9 April 2014 14:15

The worst is the fart-******. Happened to me once. I was mortified. Luckily my bf & I have been together for 3 years & he just laughed it off

dantheman97 9

Thursday 26 June 2014 20:03

Lucid means very clear and easy to understand... I think you mean the exact opposite of lucid. That is the first time using one of the thousands of words that I learned for the SAT, well FML.

Daesh_fml 9

Wednesday 14 January 2015 4:02

I don't understand where this whole "darting is rude, or at least unladylike" comes from. We're all people, gas is a natural part of living, and holding it in is if not bad for you, at least not good. Aside from that, if he can't handle a bit of gas coming out of you (which obviously he can: then he doesn't deserve you anyway.