Health: FitBitch - FML

FitBitch

By Anonymous - 22/02/2015 16:09 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 026

You deserved it 2 161

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Same thing different taste

By TheRunaway21 - 06/04/2015 20:49 - United States

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 345

You deserved it 5 400

Casual ableism

By CrippledFatty - 01/11/2022 01:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was yet again chastised for using a wheelchair, since, "Obesity isn't a disability." I'm 46 with lipedema, and lost my ability to walk 13 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 161

By Crippled - 27/12/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my parents bought me an alarm clock that runs away from you while beeping obnoxiously when you hit snooze. I just had ankle surgery and am unable to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 665

You deserved it 2 893

By Anonymous - 07/09/2018 22:00

Today, my lazy, obese mother took the last motor cart at the grocery store. My leg is in a cast. She told me to "use the shopping cart to help with the limp" as she rolled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 388

You deserved it 235

By bannana0zoom - 03/03/2012 08:06 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 016

You deserved it 7 976

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 17:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 181

Weight watcher

By depressedkiwi - 15/07/2020 08:01

Today, I found out my mother-in-law is trying to force me to lose weight, even though I am trying, and have a medical condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 695

By FootyFoot - 06/03/2012 11:50 - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 466

You deserved it 3 223

Make the day about me!

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 06:02 - United States - Roy

Today, at my wedding, my grandmother special requested a wheelchair, even though she doesn’t and never has needed any kind of assistance walking or standing at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 30/10/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, my mother sent my birthday present to me four days late. It was a handy keychain blood alcohol detector so I can make sure I'm sober before I drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 7 701

Next

Top comments

nix1993 41

Sunday 22 February 2015 21:12

For her birthday send her mens clothing, like socks, boxer shorts shirts etc. but take out the labels and make sure they wouldn't fit her husband.

vikky538 28

Sunday 22 February 2015 21:09

there's a reason people call mother-in-law a monster...

Comments

dragonvale19 12

Monday 23 February 2015 5:08

Im gonna guess hes joking

weaslette_fml 7

Monday 23 February 2015 5:21

didn't mean to down vote

msmedieval 11

Monday 23 February 2015 5:39

What a bitch! It's not like you can control the wheelchair issue. Sorry OP :(

Sheepalicious 20

Monday 23 February 2015 5:43

Send her anti aging cream.

berkeleyjake 13

Monday 23 February 2015 6:31

send her the book, "how not to be an asshole" you can get it on Amazon. it might also be called "how not to be a dick" I can't remember which. might be both, in which case, get her both.

ally8 21

Monday 23 February 2015 6:48

Should've gotten you an odometer to track your miles... No a pedometer!

kiddobee 4

Monday 23 February 2015 9:09

Send her a glitter bomb. Nothing says **** you like a glitter bomb.

toowie_fml 20

Monday 23 February 2015 9:34

Could you put it on your arm? It could be interesting to see how much you can get up to while working those muscles

albertozeta_fml 9

Monday 23 February 2015 10:24

And what did your wife say?

dope_mcfly 24

Monday 23 February 2015 11:58

You should mail her a ***** so she can go **** herself. What a wretched woman.

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The Top

Today, I realized just how bitchy my BFF really is. When my sister said hi to her, she just glared back. She refers to a trans woman as "it" and not her correct pronouns. She just sucks the fun out of everything and makes me feel alone and stuck. I can't abandon her though because we're both each other's only friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 115

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 136

The Top

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 615

You deserved it 91 024

Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen-pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 027

You deserved it 4 182

Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 667

You deserved it 1 293

Today, I finally got my forklift license after training for a week. Almost eight hours later, I lost my license by not lowering my forks, crashing into and destroying four overhead light fixtures which cost more than $500 in damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 3 012

Today, I felt like working out again since it’s been a while. When I was done and talking to my wife about how good I felt afterwards, my 3 year-old came and patted my stomach and said, "Baby in there, baby in there." Yes, I feel so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 167

Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 586

You deserved it 14 600