Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Spicy
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 841
You deserved it 4 639

Same thing different taste

Top comments

JustinThunder 8

Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.

Comments

Nothing wrong with a little tooth action :) It's when she drags them that it becomes an issue!

perdix 29

Yuck, it must have tasted like durian-flavored gum. If you ever decide to see that limp pussy again, make sure you wear a bra that easily pops off. If he struggles with that, the whiny, little teaty-baby may have another hissyfit.

You talk a lot about durians.... you have a thing for them, don't you?

perdix 29

Kind of, I just learned about them. I'm not sure you can even get them in the US. I find it hilarious that there is a fruit that stinks so much that you can't bring it on to buses or trains. So, until I find an opportunity to use "plump humpa" or "blumpkin" or "sammiches" in the near future, this may be my current theme.

hotPinklipstick 24

next time do your damn job and bring the boy a sammich, then he won't go limp in your mouth. what are you doing out of the kitchen anyways.

Yeah I recently found out about them too! I had never heard of durians in my country either, but well where I come from we don't need them to stink up places, we have cheese :D

salvorican 24

Maybe you're the long lost childhood sweetheart.. Omg reunited at last :O

helper420 0

Yeah I feel everybody on that one childhood bj?

zembof 3

Bitch btw I'm talking about u not him

Beebow_fml 5

Most men can't reach far enough to suck it up, but we always try.

Aww, at least you know he's not a heartless douche that's just in it for the sex, but a guy capable of real intimacy and caring, and once you break through and gain his trust he'll be a keeper. [ Disclaimer: as a guy, even I threw up a little in my mouth as I proofread my embarrassingly sappy/romantic post, but I'm sticking by what I said, I think there's some truth to it. ]