Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Fond memories

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 841

You deserved it 4 639

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 757

You deserved it 5 994

Nomnom

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 093

You deserved it 5 623

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 274

You deserved it 7 766

First time?

By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 11:56 - United States - Westminster

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 289

You deserved it 6 901

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 981

You deserved it 3 073

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 104

You deserved it 6 453

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 886

You deserved it 9 239

By Anonymous - 11/12/2011 11:54 - Australia

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 282

You deserved it 8 649

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 657

You deserved it 9 534

Jammed

By me - 05/01/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 456

You deserved it 3 761

JustinThunder 8

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:02

Apparently she couldn't keep him up either.

Anupants 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:01

That is a no bueno.

Comments

every1luvsvag 10

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:34

Help him feel better about it. Anal is always a picker-upper.

JustinThunder 8

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:35

How could anyone have the heart to thumb you down.

Mirorbo 26

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:37

Wow... Someone's got some serious letting go issues...

jobsman99 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:38

suck his balls and see if that gets him back up then while doing that give him a handjob when he chums lick up all his sperm maybe that will turn him on

phelpsbaby 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:40

Ewww. Ur gross. Little less detailed please!

i_did_that 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 6:10

Haha

musicanonymus 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 10:10

your like 6, does you mother know you talk like this ?

amuck 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:40

switch it up for him, do it different.. use your tongue and hands also, maybe add some ice :)

sexxme 9

Saturday 13 August 2011 6:51

ice doesn't seem like a bright idea my dear.

kissingdeath 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 14:42

It actually adds some fun to it, seems like uve never tried it

Baileyyykayy 1

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:41

Where on earth are you guys getting the word childhood from?! It says plain as day, TEEN. I'm impressed with your stupidity.

Sirin_fml 46

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:44

We edited it because people apparently don't understand the term too well.

hotPinklipstick 24

Saturday 13 August 2011 17:16

when the FML was first posted it clearly stated childhood sweetheart. It was changed by the site because of the comments.

kaykay20 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 22:01

When your 40 or so referring 1--19 years old (assuming thats when you moved out of your parents house) as it being childhood makes sense since you were still young and not out on your own yet. Then again I refer everyone who is younger then me as a kid so may not make sense to everyone.

Alyta 0

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:42

What an asshole!!! Lol FYL for having such an idiot as bf!

DrewsFML 8

Saturday 13 August 2011 5:42

It's rare, yes, but possible to screw up a BJ. I once dated a dental hygienist that made me wear a studded condom so she could brush her teeth at the same time. That i could deal with, but it was over when she asked me to grow my pubes out so she could floss afterwards.