Intimacy and Kids: Freaky

Freaky

By Anonymous - 12/04/2018 05:00

Today, according to my mother, who is only 19 years older than me and raised me by herself, I was conceived in a satanic ritual to honour the Horned God and have at least 4 potential fathers. She was too stoned to remember the actual number or their names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 119

You deserved it 381

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By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 128

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 451

You deserved it 4 166

By verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 628

You deserved it 2 728

By unfortunate - 30/06/2013 04:45 - United States

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 150

You deserved it 3 195

WTF mom?

By Anonymous - 20/02/2022 09:59

Today, my mom is becoming a Wiccan, at least that’s the lie I told the neighbours when they demanded to know why my mom was smoking weed naked, waving charms around, and dancing amongst our trees. I actually have no idea what she was doing, and when she sobered up, she had no idea why she did it either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 102

By Christopher Tobler - 26/04/2019 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I found out that my mom paints, and that I was artistically represented in a painting, as Satan, in a painting made shortly after I told her that I was an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 453

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 21:55 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 252

You deserved it 4 587

By Michael tee - 11/08/2011 20:11 - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 374

You deserved it 5 028

By anonymous - 06/07/2011 15:21 - United States

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 509

You deserved it 3 715

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999

By Anonymous - 28/05/2024 05:00

Today, I found out why my mother has treated me like dogshit since the day I was born. I was apparently born during a solar eclipse, which in her twisted mind meant I was born evil, with a black soul. I train dogs for blind people, yet she insists I must have a sinister motive even for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 67

PenguinPal3017 19

Thursday 12 April 2018 5:31

Have you touched a crucifix to see if it burns you?

ThatGuy9679 13

Thursday 12 April 2018 5:21

Makes me miss the good old days when babies were delivered on the front porch by Storks

Comments

CrazyTrainWreck 19

Thursday 12 April 2018 7:24

Is this the omen?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 12 April 2018 7:32

WWTHGD?

mssileas 25

Thursday 12 April 2018 7:36

What a badass origin story.

Vanessa Ramirez 6

Thursday 12 April 2018 8:06

I honestly do see why it matters. Im sure alot people were coniceved in orgies or in the back of some crappy truck. Who cares your here . your mom actually raised you.

aruden 25

Thursday 12 April 2018 8:21

She's a WITCH Buuurn her!!

rodfergie 18

Thursday 12 April 2018 21:40

I bet she weighs rhe sane as a duck!

Teyros 24

Thursday 12 April 2018 10:34

Damn. And I thought just being an accident was rough.

rmsutton 20

Thursday 12 April 2018 12:07

"I told you, Fergus. You were conceived at a summer solstice orgy and i wasn't exactly taking names!"

Alex Neiva 17

Friday 13 April 2018 19:12

Man. I just cant read that line without using Rowena's accent

Yudith 24

Thursday 12 April 2018 12:50

Is your name Merlin? Have you been able to see into the past and the future? Was your development really fast, like being able to shup up judgemental adults at two years old? Because you may have a great career as a mage in front of you!