Sex, Frustration and Intimacy: Gagging for it - FML

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 26/06/2011 21:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 081

You deserved it 10 626

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Same thing different taste

By Sl3vin - 19/01/2010 14:17 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 430

You deserved it 6 848

By BadGuyLuck - 25/02/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 2 799

By bootycall:( - 15/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 944

You deserved it 1 270

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Spicy

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 170

You deserved it 2 901

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 871

You deserved it 3 618

By stupiddddddd - 08/07/2009 07:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 642

You deserved it 9 047

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 18 019

Hard no

By unemployable - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 292

You deserved it 3 587

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Spicy

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 370

You deserved it 47 335

Let down

By heartbreakkid21 - 14/05/2009 15:22 - United States

Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 191

You deserved it 5 619

Next

Top comments

flockz 19

Monday 27 June 2011 0:50

a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.

fthku 13

Monday 27 June 2011 1:50

$50 per session is my type of girl.

Comments

SelenaGomezOffic 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:38

hahaha that sucks/:

The_Moustache 6

Monday 27 June 2011 0:46

*hides and waits for this one to get hated on for pretending to be Selena Gomez*

PageantGirlXOXO 16

Monday 27 June 2011 0:49

Eyy girl how's Justin Doin?! he come out yet?

smurfsarwales 9

Monday 27 June 2011 0:53

ahahaha win^^

smurfsarwales 9

Monday 27 June 2011 0:55

*meant for 47

vihan 0

Monday 27 June 2011 1:44

Such a bad liar

stormchaser24 24

Monday 27 June 2011 0:38

wow only your 3rd date. wIt a while atleast. jk. FYL

smurfsarwales 9

Monday 27 June 2011 0:39

there are better places to use your hands nom nom

Anchavez2 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:40

maybe you didnt get any action for a reason

RyanMacVey 17

Monday 27 June 2011 0:41

aye mate... i dont even wanna know where that boys hands have been

enonymous 8

Monday 27 June 2011 0:42

I'm sure this was Borat doing this. in his Country this is 2nd base which later will be followed up by bringing in his sister... she is the number 4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan.

geekometer96 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:42

maybe he finds you so attractive he was stunned...

mismonroe 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:43

Don't act like you don't dream of those dirty possum hands. I know I do.

GuidoCheese 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:43

Hmmm, third date and yet this female expects to get some booty. I think calling a hooker would be more suitable in these types of situations.

mea_iloveskiing 26

Monday 27 June 2011 1:48

high five! :D

PageantGirlXOXO 16

Monday 27 June 2011 0:44

this is deff a repeat

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I realized I’ve been saying “a whole nother” instead of “a whole other” my entire life. It wasn’t until my friend pointed it out with a smirk I’ve been speaking in an alternate universe. He was also the one to point out last year that my use of "like" every three words was "annoying and cringe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 439

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, while working a night shift completely alone at a truck stop, a trucker asked me to get in the shower with him for a "funner night shift", and threw his towels and clothes at me when I told him no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 65

Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 147

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 399

You deserved it 10 462

Today, my mother got me to guess who she spent the night with. I then find out it was the gas station guy. The same creep that I've been complaining about because he hits on me every time I go get gas. Good pick Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 954

You deserved it 3 362

Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 999

You deserved it 33 533

Today, I found out the high school I have been doing at home for the past 3 years isn't accredited and doesn't count for anything. I'm 18 and starting high school as a freshman next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 483

You deserved it 19 629