Cute and Kids: Genius

Genius

By ohno - 13/07/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 460

You deserved it 7 092

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Same thing different taste

Nose job

By pignose - 05/09/2019 02:01

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 232

That's awkward

By Dannotmann - 04/05/2021 22:01

Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 3 489

By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 703

You deserved it 4 803

Gross

By Anonyme - 26/06/2015 00:40 - France - Géanges

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 515

You deserved it 2 624

By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 670

You deserved it 12 246

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 6 724

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 539

You deserved it 6 364

Goldmining

By Anonymous - 22/09/2021 08:00

Today, about a minute after telling my son not to pick his nose, he caught me picking mine. This has led to a cascade of, "Why should I follow dad's rules when even dad doesn’t follow dad rules?" He now questions everything I tell him, and is breaking every rule in the book to make his point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 506

By jamjamy - 26/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 2 634

Caught in 4K

By buggermonster - 16/06/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 733

You deserved it 76 862

YacL 15

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:07

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

krez 20

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:05

I guess you didn't know that already? Your kid is smart!

Comments

michellarcila27 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:45

awww thats cute of the kids but u cant blame them there only kids but at the same time that sucks for u

rezzel 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 17:45

thats awesome i bet ur bosses love them

ahh_forever 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:05

YDI for bringing your young children.

kindlystfupls 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:16

Kids will be kids! If the CEO can't get over that he's a fool!

ChuckNorrisBeard 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:21

they are children...I'm pretty sure that the CEOs of you're company are going to do anything about that. if they did I would be surprised.

juggaletteninja 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:35

you mean you didn't know that??!

mattdm91 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:40

oh stop being a bitch they're just little kids like what do you expect?

ijnek 3

Wednesday 13 July 2011 18:58

very smart! be proud geez!

jshicksSN 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 19:31

cute!!!

streborkcim 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 19:35

that's awesome! I bet everyone loved it. your kids are probably more interesting than you, so just go with it.

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Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 905

You deserved it 4 250

Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 212

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explainable stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 156

You deserved it 3 436

Today, I didn't even bother to turn my cellphone off in a movie theater because I knew no one would text me or call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 071

You deserved it 4 815

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 802

You deserved it 3 047

Today, I asked if my psychiatrist would test me for autism, as I believe I may have it. His response? "You probably don't. Stay off social media once in a while." Well fuck me for wanting a professional opinion I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 713