Cute and Kids: Genius - FML

Genius

By ohno - 13/07/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 460

You deserved it 7 092

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Same thing different taste

Nose job

By pignose - 05/09/2019 02:01

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 232

That's awkward

By Dannotmann - 04/05/2021 22:01

Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 3 489

By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 703

You deserved it 4 803

Gross

By Anonyme - 26/06/2015 00:40 - France - Géanges

Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 515

You deserved it 2 624

By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 670

You deserved it 12 246

By Bailey - 05/04/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 471

You deserved it 6 724

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 539

You deserved it 6 364

Goldmining

By Anonymous - 22/09/2021 08:00

Today, about a minute after telling my son not to pick his nose, he caught me picking mine. This has led to a cascade of, "Why should I follow dad's rules when even dad doesn’t follow dad rules?" He now questions everything I tell him, and is breaking every rule in the book to make his point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 1 506

By jamjamy - 26/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 2 634

Caught in 4K

By buggermonster - 16/06/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 733

You deserved it 76 862

Next

Top comments

YacL 15

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:07

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

krez 20

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:05

I guess you didn't know that already? Your kid is smart!

Comments

thejerk56 8

Wednesday 13 July 2011 19:58

if the ceo's didnt laugh at that then they have no souls.

xBunii18x 2

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:01

funny kid! :D

Autocorrect 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:05

That's too cute.

army129 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:11

not at the table Carlos..

hopestr 4

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:35

lol:) gotta admit that's kinda funny. kids will be kids

floresmarquezhah 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 20:50

That's cute :)

IamDre 5

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:18

Wow, eureka!

psycho456 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:32

so?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a friend and I tell each other everything about our relationships, and we’ve been flirting for two years, but we’re not together. I started to have feelings for him, but I didn’t say anything, then the guy started to disappear and I don't know if he has an avoidant attachment, or he's just ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 495

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

The Top

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 283

You deserved it 3 050

Today, my ex sent me a string of abusive texts about forgetting our daughter's birthday. I have no idea when her birthday is because she left me while pregnant and never told me the date, plus she is 3 and I’ve never met her because the police can’t find where they live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 055

You deserved it 140

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 611

You deserved it 9 560

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 200

You deserved it 8 031

Today, I attended my graduation ceremony. My parents acted mysteriously and kept urging me to go home, since we had to be "on time" for something. Thinking they might have planned a surprise party, I left my friends behind. I missed my graduation because my mom wanted to watch a TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 868

You deserved it 332

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 419

You deserved it 6 095