Intimacy: Get it on

Get it on

By WentInABush - 15/11/2012 07:23 - United States - Portland

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 537

You deserved it 3 264

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Same thing different taste

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 471

You deserved it 764

Just a prank, bro

By sarah - 28/03/2021 20:00

Today, my parents wouldn't stop making fun of my shy bladder by camping out in front of the bathroom door while I’m trying to pee. As a result, I haven’t peed in 10 hours and my bladder is going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 174

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 957

You deserved it 7 573

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 717

You deserved it 2 759

By dammitall - 15/05/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 426

You deserved it 4 880

By Peepants - 03/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 077

You deserved it 4 729

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/08/2012 05:46 - United States - Olympia

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 053

You deserved it 3 932

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 453

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 543

illmatic2 16

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:24

I'd go piss outside or something.

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:25

And that's why it's great to be a man - The outside world is our urinal.

Comments

Rosie_Posie43 12

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:38

There's always the trash can...

damari369 2

Thursday 15 November 2012 22:06

Lol thats nasty

nahbean13 3

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:38

A whole hour of shower sex? Y'all must have a fantastic water heater.

Dcm210 19

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:43

Never heard of the term "loo"

ManInTheMachine 19

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:50

Really? Is Ormond Beach the name of the rock you live under? I joke, I joke. 'Loo' is a British term for restroom. Or, for Canadians, washroom.

little_one 20

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:58

Nvm

etchsanity1 11

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:45

Kitchen sink ;) pop a squat and turn on the faucet

smiliecat 13

Thursday 15 November 2012 18:25

I kind of hope that's not a real face tattoo. But who am I to judge?

bethrocksya 9

Thursday 15 November 2012 23:39

Looks real to me! Reminds me of Mike Tyson! :0 heehee

etchsanity1 11

Friday 16 November 2012 2:50

Lol it's real at the moment though its undergoing laser treatments much lighter now

trellz17 19

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:50

Take a bottle and go. Or like others said and go outside.

pogue36 5

Thursday 15 November 2012 16:54

Yeah go use the kitchen sink or go out back.

little_one 20

Thursday 15 November 2012 17:01

According to her name she went in a bush.

tingway 4

Thursday 15 November 2012 17:07

yikes that's really disturbing, hope it'll never happen again!

ICastillo 24

Thursday 15 November 2012 17:11

Shit just walk into the bathroom and use the toilet and just walk out like you didn't even know they were there.

jeffmusson1309 1

Thursday 15 November 2012 17:16

Just piss outside

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 109

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 118

You deserved it 3 775

The Top

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 011

You deserved it 332

Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 964

You deserved it 4 680

Today, my mom and I staged an intervention for my alcoholic dad. Within minutes he'd turned everything around on us, claiming we're in no position to judge him for drinking since we use "too much water" when we shower. Apparently that's on the same level as being an abusive alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 761

You deserved it 822

Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his tools inside. It took us 40 minutes with a screwdriver and stick to unlock his car and 40 seconds to unlock mine after. Nine hours later, I found my extra key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 521

You deserved it 6 060

Today, a kid pulled down my shorts while I was ordering at McDonald's. In my haste to pull them back up, I hit my head on the counter and was knocked out cold. I woke up on the floor, my shorts still around my knees, in a puddle of my own urine. I had peed myself while unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 019

You deserved it 300

Today, my girlfriend made the case that sexting a guy she hasn’t seen in person doesn’t count as cheating, because her “hobby” predates our 3-year relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 172