Gross, Annoying, Airplanes and Transportation: Get me out

Get me out

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 464

You deserved it 3 245

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Same thing different taste

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 270

You deserved it 1 759

Have a nice trip!

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 794

You deserved it 2 308

By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 006

You deserved it 2 614

By hatesmellyfeet - 20/01/2010 13:47 - United States

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 661

You deserved it 5 071

First time?

By ajdown - 17/06/2011 20:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 925

You deserved it 2 523

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 109

By pzy - 24/10/2016 15:46

Today, I'm in the middle seat on a flight to Dallas. The guy on the aisle is sleeping with his mouth open and I can smell his breath. I feel nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 809

You deserved it 700

By crapgirl - 18/04/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 117

You deserved it 3 758

By meish - 05/06/2016 13:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 510

You deserved it 983

By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 854

You deserved it 2 700

KingDingALing 9

Monday 21 March 2011 22:50

Fart in your hand and sniff it. If that doesn't scare them away, start talking about how you need to take a monster shit but the bathrooms are occupied. Then suggest taking a shit in the vomit bag and make it look like you're about to actually do it.

Lucie_love 4

Monday 21 March 2011 22:38

You should totally creep them out for doing that. Just stick your hand down your pants and jack off.

Comments

c12azy13ananas 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 0:27

Hang on, clipping toenails and buying food within 5 minutes of your plane taking off? no airline serves food within 5 mins, and how can anyone clip their toenails on such cramped aircraft these days??

testthecoal 5

Tuesday 22 March 2011 5:56

Midgets... that's who.

sdg144 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 0:29

federal aviation regulations prohibit the use of any electronic device that uses a two way signal. by posting this you are breaking federal law.... nice

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:17

No they aren't. You are allowed to use laptops and the internet (provided your plane has it and you have paid for it) once a plane has passed a certain elevation. What they mean when they say that is that you can't use phones, radios, wireless mice, wireless keyboards, or essentially anything that sends out a signal strong enough to interfere with the planes equipment.

tona01 16

Tuesday 22 March 2011 4:32

and with the nail thingy, maybe op was in a plane from a country that doesn't have a strict regulation system and OP was flying to another country that has a light regulation system aswell

boomsupersonic 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 0:38

Um, are you on one of those planes with wifi? Hole in story: found.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Tuesday 22 March 2011 0:49

The fact that it is possible that there is wifi on the plane means that there is no hole in the story.

deatheater97 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 0:41

have fun ;)

darklight549 2

Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:06

Fake... Cant use electronics that use wifi or a cellular current on a plane. You fail

epic13 12

Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:08

GOGOINFLIGHTINTERNETS

Travis420 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:12

You should have booked southwest. They love customers.

aegillesp 1

Tuesday 22 March 2011 1:13

I was on a flight once and this lady was taking up part of my seat so I put on a movie on my laptop that had a few sex scenes. I felt great.

Evangeline1 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 2:25

heheh, lol that sucks man, once ay sat next to a old woman how kept asking me" how high up are we?",and " did they come around with cookies yet?", I was 7