Gross, Annoying, Airplanes and Transportation: Get me out

Get me out

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 18:36 - United States

Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 464

You deserved it 3 245

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 270

You deserved it 1 759

Have a nice trip!

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 794

You deserved it 2 308

By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 006

You deserved it 2 614

By hatesmellyfeet - 20/01/2010 13:47 - United States

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 661

You deserved it 5 071

First time?

By ajdown - 17/06/2011 20:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 925

You deserved it 2 523

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 109

By pzy - 24/10/2016 15:46

Today, I'm in the middle seat on a flight to Dallas. The guy on the aisle is sleeping with his mouth open and I can smell his breath. I feel nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 809

You deserved it 700

By crapgirl - 18/04/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 117

You deserved it 3 758

By meish - 05/06/2016 13:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, I got my own row on an almost full transatlantic flight. All it took was having food poisoning two hours into the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 510

You deserved it 983

By legitweirdo - 08/01/2013 04:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 854

You deserved it 2 700

KingDingALing 9

Monday 21 March 2011 22:50

Fart in your hand and sniff it. If that doesn't scare them away, start talking about how you need to take a monster shit but the bathrooms are occupied. Then suggest taking a shit in the vomit bag and make it look like you're about to actually do it.

Lucie_love 4

Monday 21 March 2011 22:38

You should totally creep them out for doing that. Just stick your hand down your pants and jack off.

Comments

k_madison 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 16:39

16 hours?? where are you going? outer space? first of all, I pity you because personally I hate long flights. second, who's your travel agent? if you're the kind of person who hates long flights, then try booking on expedia and have short trips via connecting flights.

gagaman_fml 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 17:03

look at the brigh-side, stay positive... your ****** though... ROTFLMFAO!!!

iBanana 17

Wednesday 23 March 2011 1:57

Some airlines sell wifi on board. I travel a lot :)

fmllol3 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:56

that sucks ass

caleismyth 5

Wednesday 23 March 2011 21:53

at least there isn't a screaming baby behind you that would really suck. good luck

kialuvsyoo 3

Thursday 24 March 2011 2:17

To the people saying airplanes don't have Internet, they now have wifi. Just saying.

vintage12 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 3:04

did you smell the clippings hehe

sjhill 32

Thursday 15 December 2011 17:04

ewwww! thats truly disgusting. you deserve an upgrade at least!

Midnightpearls 13

Saturday 28 January 2012 22:58

How was he able to buy a cheese plate 5 minutes into the flight? The stewards/stewardesses don't start serving until the plane levels out, which usually takes a lot longer...