Intimacy: Get over here

Get over here

By Chocolaty - 22/07/2016 00:48 - Australia - Geelong

Today, I spiced things up by lying on the bed and pouring melted white chocolate on myself. I called out to my fiancé to come in. He was 'checking' his favourite scene in Batman vs Superman and couldn't hear me. I was stuck unable to move for ten minutes until he finally heard me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 672

You deserved it 4 469

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

By sissica - 11/02/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 196

You deserved it 6 630

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 795

Priority number one

By soooyeah - 30/04/2009 12:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 002

You deserved it 18 545

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 159

You deserved it 6 914

You tried!

By Noname - 15/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 946

You deserved it 50 954

By bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 803

You deserved it 3 049

Hi Honey, I'm home

By seminole711 - 20/09/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 134

You deserved it 6 974

By jessiegirl - 22/08/2010 03:32 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how sweetly the main character on my favorite tv show proposed to his girlfriend. He told me to hang on a second, and later forgot about me while he told his brother about the hot blonde he slept with last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 209

You deserved it 6 504

By Eskyew - 23/07/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 769

You deserved it 9 013

By Rubyscooby212 - 15/02/2015 04:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 341

You deserved it 3 739

kusje 30

Friday 22 July 2016 14:15

Just ask him to pour the melted chocolate on you, that won't get you into this situation and is probably much more fun for the both of you (:

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 22 July 2016 13:22

That was... sweet of you. I really hope he appreciated the trouble you went to after he heard you and discovered your predicament.

Comments

TheEpicWario 26

Friday 22 July 2016 15:07

Any human who commits the sin of enjoying Batman v Superman is not worthy of being the fiancé to anybody.

scyth3s 13

Friday 22 July 2016 23:39

Let's not make super batshit crazy generalizations about all men, here. That wouldn't be just.

ZaiopePerSe 15

Wednesday 27 July 2016 12:39

47 #notallmen like batman v superman. in fact I reckon most don't. I also reckon some women might like it

dwaitley24 9

Friday 22 July 2016 15:23

Spicy boi

ztodaro 24

Saturday 23 July 2016 4:37

iFunny lmao

MadJessTic 29

Friday 22 July 2016 16:23

That's the type of thing you make sure Hubbs knows something is going down BEFORE you set it up! Doesn't have to know what it is..... Just that there's something!