Dogs and Animals: Good boy - FML

Good boy

By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 00:51 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 082

You deserved it 2 920

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 21:18 - United States

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 147

You deserved it 4 494

By shadow - 26/12/2017 08:00 - United States - Osceola

Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 942

You deserved it 357

By emancipate me - 15/05/2016 19:59 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 242

You deserved it 1 475

I don't know, leave me alone

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 04:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 160

By Sky - 25/07/2018 01:30

Today, since my parents always told me that I was welcome to come home whenever I want or need, I decided to stop by. They'd changed the locks and wouldn't let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 504

You deserved it 334

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

By mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 340

By Anonymous - 17/04/2018 01:30

Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 896

You deserved it 396

By FatalxDesire599 - 05/03/2010 15:39 - United States

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out "NOW" and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 2 834

Call the cops

By Becca - 29/08/2019 04:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my mother-in-law "borrowed" my dog without asking, to show him off to her friends. My dog is my service animal, and I'm not comfortable leaving the house without him. I have to be at work in an hour, and she's not picking up her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 445

By gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 081

You deserved it 1 125

Next

Top comments

Hunthas 17

Sunday 26 October 2014 14:51

Silly mothers! everyone knows dogs only speak french

teentee401 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:05

Error 404: Pun not found

Comments

brooke1113 2

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:07

That makes them both bitches...

diva239 8

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:08

I love my dog and chat to her. But I don't need to lock anyone out to do that. That's extreme and bizzar!

DArthurVaderian 18

Monday 27 October 2014 4:45

*bizarre

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:11

Doggone it...we need to have a quick talk...

supersquirel500 10

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:13

..."talk"

Paultheouctopus 13

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:14

Are they planning something against you?

gracehi 31

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:22

Sounds like your mom is... BARKING mad! *ba dum tssss*

KyokoSakuraChan 15

Sunday 26 October 2014 22:19

...I don't get it.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Monday 27 October 2014 17:19

#55 Is that the only thing you comment? I've seen you comment that twice on this FML alone...

HappyItalian 38

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:23

"Mr.Ruffers, it's time for you to get a job and move out."

gracehi 31

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:44

It's your dog's name Wilfred?

Allegory_fml 4

Sunday 26 October 2014 15:55

can't believe people think this stuff is real. this website is a joke and it consists of the most gullible people in the world

gracehi 31

Sunday 26 October 2014 16:06

You clearly did not read the rules about commenting. And anyway, it's a silly comedy site. People generally don't concern themselves with the validity of the posts around here. Don't take shit so seriously and maybe you'll enjoy life every now and then.

teentee401 36

Sunday 26 October 2014 16:08

Did you bark and whine at the door till she let you back in?

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The Top

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 933

The Top

Today, just 8 months away from graduating medical school, I successfully diagnosed myself with basal cell carcinoma. At least all that studying is paying off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 448

You deserved it 144

Today, I've officially spent more fixing my electric car than I spent buying it, less than a year ago. My tenant's 20 year-old junk car, however, runs just fine. It broke down a few months ago and cost less than a grand to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 832

Today, I was pulling a car out of the shop where I work, when I tried to go over a small snow bank to park it. What I didn't realize was the snow had turned into solid ice, and it broke the front bumper cover. It's going to cost $1000 to fix it and I also had to call the owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 202

You deserved it 11 045

Today, my ex-boyfriend convinced my current boyfriend to break up with me because, "Bros before hoes." They met for the first time last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 362

You deserved it 410

Today, my wife and I invited my boss over for dinner, specifically warning her not to bring her children due to our house not being childproof. She surprised us by walking in with her toddlers. They both shat on our carpets, then my dog knocked them into a wall. I guess I'll start looking for another job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 213

Today, I found out my email hasn't been working for 10 days. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but it just so happens that a position opened up for my dream job while this was happening. I would have gotten the job, but instead they gave it to someone I just finished training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 123