Love: Good boy

Good boy

By TrainedBF - 12/09/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 738

You deserved it 47 113

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sociopathic method

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 18:01

Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 179

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By misTreated - 30/05/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 5 564

By mykhael - 21/08/2013 18:58 - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 131

You deserved it 7 479

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 823

You had to ask

By Bryan - 30/09/2020 17:01 - United States

Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 1 475

Argument ender

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 408

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 273

You deserved it 3 567

Alexa, play "Meat Is Murder" by The Smiths

By meat is meat - 07/10/2019 02:07

Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 2 704

Great friends

By Need new friends - 18/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 155

mathsponge 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:31

GahhahahhHhHa I luv ur gf... Ydi for calling a dog stupid

F___M__L 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:17

lmfao nice

Comments

playfuldesk 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:37

Girls a dogs. Whoever said all guys were....*****

M13LO 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:38

haha well I'm a guy to and I'm the one who said all men are dogs... well atleast all the ones I know xD (and no I'm not gay either)

glitchead 0

Monday 14 September 2009 6:28

Me doth think the closet gay lady-man troll protest too much. and I am arresting you to confiscate your midget ****!!!

playfuldesk 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:46

Oh........girls are cats then

gonzolove 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 19:09

Yay! I'd rather be a cat than a dog. Dogs smell.

xerbrus 14

Sunday 16 February 2014 21:45

cats smell worse

M13LO 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:47

omg I am like so glad! haha I decided to say I wasn't gay before someone tried to use that excuse next

playfuldesk 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:49

That sounded gay you silly goose

tabbycat 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:01

That's the clever female mind at work. :)

canucksrule88 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 18:35

oh yes because you have to be so "clever" to come up with an "original" joke like that.............

playfuldesk 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:05

Haha women. Clever? Equal? NEVER

LMAO58 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 19:48

HELL YA AGREED

gonzolove 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 20:48

I think playfuldesk was kidding and the other dude was not.

DrunkenValor 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:10

Women pwn guys to be honest. If I was offered sex, I'd certainly sit like a dog.

gonzolove 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 19:23

Good boy. =]

22jrdn55 15

Saturday 12 September 2009 19:35

lmao

gc_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:17

fake, something very similar about 4 days ago

56578 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:23

LMAO. You should watch "If a Man Answers" with Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee. You'll find some situations similar to the one you're in.

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 482

You deserved it 11 506

The Top

Today, my mother, who works in retail, wears her mask around my dad and my siblings, but deliberately takes it off around me. I always knew she hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 112

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 043

You deserved it 6 560

Today, I woke up at 4AM to the sound of lightning hitting a tree in my backyard, then that tree proceeding to hit my house. Later, my neighbor's tree fell over, which hit our fence, and they're not even home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 79

Today, thanks to my estranged husband, I had three seizures at work. I came home yesterday to find that my seizure medications were completely gone. He'd flushed them down the toilet because he thinks I'm psychotic and "read on the internet" that it's because of the meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 121

You deserved it 275

Today, I caught my mom and her boyfriend fucking in their room at night, all because I wanted to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 354

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 8 836

Good boy

Same thing different taste

Sociopathic method

Fetch!

You had to ask

Argument ender

Alexa, play "Meat Is Murder" by The Smiths

Great friends

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