Love: Good boy

Good boy

By TrainedBF - 12/09/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 738

You deserved it 47 113

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

Sociopathic method

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 18:01

Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 179

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By misTreated - 30/05/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 5 564

By mykhael - 21/08/2013 18:58 - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 131

You deserved it 7 479

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 823

You had to ask

By Bryan - 30/09/2020 17:01 - United States

Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 1 475

Argument ender

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 408

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 273

You deserved it 3 567

Alexa, play "Meat Is Murder" by The Smiths

By meat is meat - 07/10/2019 02:07

Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 2 704

Great friends

By Need new friends - 18/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 155

mathsponge 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:31

GahhahahhHhHa I luv ur gf... Ydi for calling a dog stupid

F___M__L 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:17

lmfao nice

Comments

burpburpburp 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:31

nuttinick 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:41

i suggest you date a stripper instead.

22jrdn55 15

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:46

YDI cuz dogs are mans best friend and they're pretty smart

xd0rkiee 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 17:48

YDI, stupid.

ragsy 7

Saturday 12 September 2009 18:01

How original.

twiggly 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 18:03

Be subtle about returning the favor to your girlfriend. If you're the one that takes control during sex, start small, but get her to do other things regularly that she eventually starts doing without being told. It'll take a few months, but eventually you might be able to get her to do a strip dance for you every night before sex without saying a thing. Then you say "surprise! I trained you" or...not, because you might never get sex again. But silent victories are always the best in a mans world.

mubaki 18

Saturday 12 September 2009 18:14

that's hilarious. I hope she was kidding though

cmac86 23

Saturday 12 September 2009 18:21

burn!!

Jincos 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 18:42

Some dogs aren't stupid. Clarifying that the fact I had a dog who would deliver paper/note that would say; "are you ready?" Typically, he is the dog and his wife/girlfriend is the owner. Start taking control princess.