Love: Good boy

Good boy

By TrainedBF - 12/09/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 738

You deserved it 47 113

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sociopathic method

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 18:01

Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 179

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 775

You deserved it 2 890

By misTreated - 30/05/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 5 564

By mykhael - 21/08/2013 18:58 - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 131

You deserved it 7 479

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 823

You had to ask

By Bryan - 30/09/2020 17:01 - United States

Today, I was working out with my trainer. A question popped up in my mind, so I asked if she had to deal with fat people a lot. She then responded, "I'm working with you, aren't I?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 1 475

Argument ender

By Anonymous - 14/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was arguing with my girlfriend when my dog brought me a squeaky toy and tried shoving it into my hand so I could throw it for him. Out of habit, I grabbed it, but then it squeaked every time I tried to make a serious point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 408

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 273

You deserved it 3 567

Alexa, play "Meat Is Murder" by The Smiths

By meat is meat - 07/10/2019 02:07

Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 2 704

Great friends

By Need new friends - 18/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 155

mathsponge 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:31

GahhahahhHhHa I luv ur gf... Ydi for calling a dog stupid

F___M__L 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 16:17

lmfao nice

Comments

soxwin04and05 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 23:36

"Dogs must be stupid"... with such an intelligent observation I'm baffled that OP could have fallen for such simple tricks. YDI dumb ass

tabbycat 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 3:47

hmm...I should have replied to you guys' posts earlier, but the comment system on my iPod is messed up. I wonder if you realized that I was joking? You know how guys say stuff like 'girls are stupid' just to piss us girls off? That's what I was doing. I wanted to see how it feels. :P

jbt420 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 4:37

your a dawg get it? LOL U DUMBASS YDI

FarSide 22

Sunday 13 September 2009 6:37

Wow. A real son-of-a-bitch.

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 13 September 2009 8:53

You should have replied "you mean when I was ******* you doggie-style?"

DiTHL 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 9:01

HAHAHHAHAHA u OWN. that was funny

wordgirl 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 13:49

Niiiiiiice. I'm laughing again!

ijrnelson 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 15:16

TBH she's probably one of these massively biased dog people, who was being defensive because you called dogs stupid. The truth of it is, even though dogs display behaviour that makes them SEEM very intelligent, they really aren't. A spider can spin a massively elaborate web but their brain is the size of a speck of sand. I do own and love dog's though, just having a rant because recently a dog obsessor gave me some abuse. Didn't consider it worthy of an FML though, is this post really that bad?

balanceMMX 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 18:58

"The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded." -Kenobi

RubixMonkey 0

Monday 14 September 2009 0:03

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.