Poopoo peepee and Kids: Handful

Handful

By Abeille - 17/03/2011 00:50 - Canada

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 977

You deserved it 3 948

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By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 279

You deserved it 6 173

By IRum - 11/08/2011 08:45 - Russian Federation

Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 115

You deserved it 5 480

By bloody hell - 04/06/2015 05:59 - Philippines - Para?aque

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 3 858

The Bathtub Incident

By Katie - 17/09/2019 12:01 - United States

Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 23:18 - United States

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 722

You deserved it 21 318

Ringing those bells

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 138

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 137

By Eponine13 - 05/06/2019 22:00

Today, I thought it would be fun to climb a tree. My older sister also thought it would be fun to set the tree on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 185

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 9 082

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 241

perdix 29

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:20

That's pretty crappy -- your sister's a real little shit. So, what was the brown chunky stuff?

InnocentLies 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:20

That stinks.

Comments

kykyshay 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 8:59

ew! poo.

InnocentLies 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 9:51

Why is your ear purple?

nbk1405 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 10:31

rodl

folgy 10

Thursday 17 March 2011 13:19

she got jizzed on by a leprecaun ?

BWill9014 4

Thursday 17 March 2011 15:23

38 LOL

Asstazztic 8

Thursday 17 March 2011 9:01

u literally got shit faced haha

bigmarkie2 3

Thursday 17 March 2011 9:10

lmao that's the first thing I thought of too

happydaphee 4

Thursday 17 March 2011 9:16

oh god. reminds me of something my cousins would do just to be little brats.

Madrias 36

Thursday 17 March 2011 9:18

Damn, all the good 'shit' puns are used up. Sucks to be you, OP.

truehitman2010 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 9:40

who took a dook in the park?

denvan 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 10:14

unidentified flying brown chunks

mk58 31

Thursday 17 March 2011 12:46

This made me lol. ^

xx000o 27

Thursday 17 March 2011 10:55

you have lots of time to plan and react

you_and_me_fml 8

Thursday 17 March 2011 11:37

at least she didnt shove it in your mouth or something to involve you tasting it

roberto7798 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 0:49

got a point there. xD

steviiJ 2

Thursday 30 June 2011 10:43

let me get ur number cutie

mk58 31

Thursday 17 March 2011 12:48

What is it with kids these days and brown stuff?!?

rhpsfan9 10

Thursday 17 March 2011 13:10

lmao that's gross

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You deserved it 980

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The Top

Today, whilst walking to a primary school to give pupils a lesson on cleanliness, I tripped and landed on a dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 748

You deserved it 3 268

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 816

You deserved it 4 496

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 974

You deserved it 1 791

Today, like every day, everyone blew up my phone at once and I began having a panic attack. Because I didn’t respond immediately, I was called rude and a bad person. Turning off my phone isn’t an option either, because my mom will come in my room and cuss me out for not responding to her texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 956

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 351

You deserved it 28 338

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 636

You deserved it 531